I am heavily inclined toward being a perfectionist. It feels like an instinctive internal pressure that I have to train against, and to fight against the fleeting desire, I have to be very aware of when I am falling into the unnecessary personal trap. Another realization: the perfectionist pressure does not come from an outside source. It is completely internal, and what could appear as external is merely comparison, which is completely internal. It’s getting deep, y’all. Who can relate?
The Idea of Emotional Perfection
I moved from Dallas to Los Angeles a little over three years ago, and it was as though I put myself on this subconscious timeline; I expected myself to feel settled in six months, and I was confused why I wasn’t even close. I felt like I should have deep, long-lasting friendships built right away and was discouraged when they were still at the very beginning stages even a year-in. I launched my blog, dry shampoo, and charity in January, and the fight against having every thing in perfect order was a struggle. It is all a battle of control, isn’t it?
Not to mention, accepting my imperfect body with the loss of my left hand and eye is a daily battle.
My mom just launched an amazing podcast called Thriving Beyond Belief, and she always sends me the rough interviews (I love it so much!). In her discussion with Jamie Ivey, Jamie brought up this premise: why don’t we view our stories as God’s redemptiveness and His presence rather than a list of insecurities? He made us so carefully in His image, and our story is a reflection of His beauty and purpose. That hit me so deeply, and I love remembering that in my weakness and insecurities is His strength. My imperfection is a reminder that I need Him because only He is perfect!
The key word my husband has so lovingly infused in my brain is RELAX. Incorporating the definition of this word into every aspect of life is a game. changer. It shifts the perspective from viewing things as must-do projects and rigid to-do lists to enjoying the journey that every day brings. It helps you go with the flow without internally panicking. It leads to more laughing, greater appreciation, acceptance, and deeper joy even in the messy moments. I’ll take that over pressure and anxiety at any moment, but it truly takes an intentional awareness, decisions, and shifts to instill this.
I am looking three years of living in California in the eyes, and I kinda, sorta, slightly feel like L.A. is home, and that’s okay. We are rebranding our dry shampoo, Stranded, and it’s so exciting. I sometimes go an entire week without working out or going to the grocery store after a busy travel schedule, and in that, I embrace date nights out and pizza nights in. These all seem so imperfect, but I now view them as lovely.
I was reading a blog post a friend wrote last week discussing thirty things she learned in her thirty years of life. These four statements confirmed the concept of accepting and resting in the idea that we will never be perfect.
Life is imperfect and imbalanced always.
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
Love is uncomplicated.
Hard work doesn’t always give me what I want.
We all have one life to live. Relax, live confidently in every part of our story, and enjoy life to the fullest capacity.
Do you struggle with imperfection? We would love to hear from you in the comments section below! xo
This post is in collaboration with The Refined Collective Series.