Adjusting to Shifts

683 1024 Lauren Kennedy

It’s interesting to think about the word settled because right when we start to feel settled, it seems that life always surprises us or the season we are living in takes a turn that requires some adjustment. To illustrate, after my accident, I moved out of my parent’s house into an apartment with my best friend. It was located in such a cute area of Dallas, and I must be honest, it was the most adorable place. It was extra cozy, and Anna’s mom is an interior designer, so she gave our home the perfect touch. Anna and I live at such a similar pace, where cooking healthy meals together and watching Friends in the evenings at home was our version of heaven.

After two years of the most lovely living experience, I got engaged, moved to Los Angeles, and got married within an eight month time span. Life went from positive to positive attached to a lot of new with so many emotions swirling about; I was grieving the loss of living near my family, living with my best friend, being in a city that was my comfort, leaving behind my daily routine and a church that I loved. BUT I was so excited to marry Jason and start a life together in beautiful sunny California.

This shift has been such an incredible blessing but simultaneously one of the hardest adjustments of my life. I entered into a city where people didn’t know the details of my stories and my heart. I battled and still battle loneliness and had to have grace and patience with myself to feel acquainted to a new bustling city (much needed even after four years). Self compassion is sometimes the hardest of them all, no?

The lifestyle here is much different than Texas and getting familiarized with it + re-learning how to make new friends takes more intention than the ordinary. Not to mention, I faced learning how to communicate better while expressing a new level of vulnerability, and I learned how to trust my husband first rather than the community I had for so long depended on. So many good yet intimidating things that I couldn’t hide from. (insert wide-eyed emoji here).

These last few years have been a time of accelerated growth with the realization that I am not in control. Shifts in life are hard, yet so beautiful. I am reminded daily to live with a grateful heart, face difficulties head-on, and accept the shifts that come our way. Embracing life’s changes only enrich our character and extend our compassion. And in it all, we must learn to relax. Pressure on ourselves never does any good.

What are some life shifts that have been hard, yet growing? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

This post is in collaboration with The Refined Collective Series. Be sure to check out the other ladies in this wonderful group! Kat, The Refined Woman, Brynn Watkins, Jackie Viramontez, Sarah Shreves

Images by Felicia Lasala 


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  • Abby

    I love this so much Lauren! My life has actually taken me on a journey that is actually similar to yours. From DFW, TX and moved to LA with my hubby. Leaving familiarity and family has been difficult. And yet, The Lord has blessings in store for us in LA. I just loved what you said about the loneliness and giving yourself compassion in this situation. I can relate to that so much… it was a great reminder to me to give myself some slack and not be so hard on myself. I pressure myself to be thriving in a place I am still learning about. And when I have those lonely times of missing my lifestyle and routine, to give myself the grace and understanding that it’s normal. Thanks for posting this!! XO

  • Johanna

    Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing a bit of your story. As I read your words I could definitely relate to some of the things you expressed. Three years ago my husband, son and I moved from nyc to Dallas. (Btw where is that cute neighborhood you lived in? I live north of Dallas and am living to find vibey spots here!) There has been a cultural adjustment to my surroundings and to the people. It’s not nyc lol but we are grateful for the incredible lessons we’re learning in becoming more vulnerable, compassionate and connected people. Thank you again for your encouraging words and I pray continued blessings over you, your hubby and your season in Cali!

  • Alexandra Del Valle

    I am about to get married in 9 months and my fiancé leaves this Saturday for 9 months to train because he’s in he army. I have lived in Florida all of my life and we were stationed in Colorado for 3 years. So starting next year, I’ll be married, moving to another state, graduated college and starting a new life away from family! Although intimidating I read last night in Revelations, God does not change, His word is always the same. While everything around you might be changing, God never does. Thanks for posting! Praying for you and Jason always, love you two! ❤️

  • Julie Leak

    My husband, daughters and I are currently experiencing one of THE hardest shifts we have ever experienced. My husband is a pastor and after working at what we thought would be our final “stop” in ministry, he was let go after only two years of working at our church. We were heartbroken and at a loss. It is still very painful. However, we are in a season of reflection and truly seeking God for what is next. This season is rough but it is so very much needed. We are preparing our hearts and our lives for whatever God has next for us and it is exciting.

    Thank you for sharing your heart in this post. You truly are such a sweet inspiration to me!

  • Yomaira

    Thank you so much for this post! The irony is that I live in New York and will be moving to the DFW are by the end of this month. Plano, Texas to be exact. I’m excited for new beginnings but also think often about what I’m leaving my behind… my family, my best friends, my church. So in essence, I’ll have to adjust to the steadier pace of Texas and leave behind the hustle and bustle of New York. Thanks for the advice!

  • Savannah

    After having a baby (2 years ago), I had a horrible time adjusting to my new life. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, I felt like I lost all my friends and no one was including me or asking to hang out, I felt alone in how hard being a first time mom felt for me (no one else talked about the difficulties), I felt like I was failing at being a good wife and not taking care of the house the way I wanted. It took a long time for me to adjust, I made new friends with girls that had kids the same age as our son, I chose to be vulnerable and share my heart with those friends that seemed distant, I leaned on my husband and now, 2 years later I feel really great about where I am and where I came from! Hers to hoping it doesn’t take that long when the next one comes along. Haha 🙂

  • Bianca

    This post was great, and I think you’ve done a fantastic job at remaining positive and maintaining your sense of self, especially considering where you moved to. I wouldn’t say I can empathise, but I can definitely relate to some of the feelings you have. You gave up a life in Texas that you were content with, and seemed to be in a really happy place. It’s not as though you moved to escape an unhappy life and “find yourself”, as people seem to do these days.

    I moved from Australia, to Pensacola, Florida to live with my husband, who is American. I love my new life here and am happy to be with him, however it gets difficult at times because of my unique circumstances. I had cancer when I was 19 and had a portion of my tricep removed, and a full axillary clearance (all of the lymph nodes under my left arm removed). The scars once bothered me, but it is now the side effects of having one of the most integral functions of my body impaired that is the concern. I’ve learned to manage the associated health issues and my network of friends and family in Australia understand them (without too much explanation). Having an entirely new group of friends is a challenge for anyone, but having to explain my history because of my scars, or other reasons can be hard.

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