You Be You

You be you. This is so much easier said that done, isn't it? But, why? I have really been digging into this ever since I moved to Los Angeles, as I initially felt surrounded by people that just didn't "get me" - they didn't know me growing up, they didn't know my twin, they didn't know my parents, or what healing was like after the accident like my best friends did at "home," and the list continues on.This is such a real feeling but a binding excuse to keep falling back on. After countless conversations with my sweet husband, I realized I was trying to take the easy way out. I would avoid the effort rather than the pursuit; I was seeking easy comfort (AKA watching Friends cuddled on the sofa at home), which in turn, developed into loneliness. I was exhausted from the daily adjustment to a brand new city and often depleted of energy to put in the effort of being vulnerable with new friends. Not to mention, the root of the problem was fear of man coupled with the desire to be accepted as I walked into a community of Jason's friends who felt like family to him, but not to me yet. This all seemed so intimidating at the time, but Jason encouraged me to just be me. Simple clarity: that is what everyone desires. For you to be you.What I came to discern is that I was making this so complicated. It really is quite simple. How do you act around your best friend or your closest family member? You can be free and honest and thoughtless (in the beautiful sense of the word). I still have to remind myself to be this way sooner rather than later with new friends. What are your fears of being fully who you are? What holds you back?Tips to be you:

1. Keep it simple. Take it at your own pace. Have grace on yourself for not doing it perfectly. New friends are not being your harshest critic.
2. Go outside of your comfort zone. You will be so glad you did!
3. When you are overwhelmed, remind yourself of why you are grateful. This mind set has changed my life and depletes so much negativity!
4. Don't doubt yourself. It is so easy to get in your head, questioning if people like you.
5. Admit your fears and aim to conquer them.

I have to share with you this brilliant Ted Talk where Renee Brown discusses the power of vulnerability. #gamechanger

OUTFIT DETAILS

jacket (and here) | top | denim | sunnies | boots (similar)

images by felicia lasala 

Loving the Skin You're In

I have always been an all-natural kind of girl, with palm trees, ocean waves, and sandy toes on my mind. I feel more myself with little to no makeup, a blow out or beach waves that look effortless, and high-waisted Levi's for that all-American, undone look. Like most girls, I cared about what I looked like growing up, but I didn't spend too much time getting ready or analyzing my appearance. I truly believe my parents' love and encouragement was a vessel in protecting me from low self value, and believing that I was a daughter of Jesus aided in focusing on developing lasting memories and friendships, rather than becoming consumed with the physical. Yet, I was very challenged on this mindset and perspective when my life took an unexpected turn. My calendar paused, my career path changed, and my platform increased after a night of injury in 2011. I was hit by a plane propeller; the blade cut into my brain and the left side of my body, resulting in the loss of my left eye, left hand, and half my head of hair post brain surgery. In retrospect, I clearly see how I easily submerged in destructive comparison after this life-altering experience. I felt depleted of beauty, but my foundation remained the same. My mom and dad's love and encouragement became stronger. My faith and trust in believing Jesus loved me grew substantially. Somehow my perspective of beauty shifted, though, and I believe one of the gifts of this tragedy was revealing to me the meaningless things that I apparently held so dear. What "bothered" me most about the outcome of this accident revealed what I held as very valuable. Did I let outward beauty define me? Yes. Did I cherish attention more than I realized? Definitely. I truly had to sit back and be still. I had to reassess my foundation. I had to refocus on what was important. I quickly came to realize that comparison is equivalent to worry; it only severely hinders and limits fruition. Plus, if we really think about it, wouldn’t life be boring if we were all the same?The Lord has brought such healing these last five years. He has restored in me a new kind of inner confidence that is rooted in where my identity truly stands, and I have realized the following to be true: physical beauty fades; attention is temporary and unfulfilling. Yes, my insecurities are a daily struggle. I often catch myself comparing not only to other people but to my "old" self. Grief is intertwined in it all as I miss my hand and my eye daily, but a lot of the hesitation in loving the skin I am in comes from wanting to hide what has changed. I have learned to be open about this struggle to my sweet husband, family, and friends, and I am slowly realizing that freedom comes from vulnerability . I am also seeing that beauty truly is in accepting the scars, in character, in the humility of freely being you, and in loving others well. I am learning to fully accept and value the path the Lord has put in front of me, and I am learning to view that path as beautiful.This series is in collaboration with some stellar ladies.  Be sure and check out their posts on Self Care too: Kat Harris, Tutti del Monte, Danielle Bennett, Kate Labat, Joanne Encarnacion, Nikia Phoenix, and Chelsey Korus.

images: felicia lasala

OUTFIT DETAILS

jacket (similar + similar) | denim | shirt | sunnies

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