The Sense of Home

I think we can all agree that 2020 has been quite the year. Alongside the craziness, there have been so many important silver linings. I look back to the beginning of quarantine, and I remember thinking over and over again how I didn't want to miss the positive parts and what we were supposed to learn, shift, and observe. I wanted to keep my eyes and heart wide open.As y'all might know after following along with us here on the blog, we purchased our new home in November of 2018. We closed three days after the Woolsey fire, which caused significant smoke damage to our home, burned down the home next door along with two other houses on our street. It was a wild undertaking. We moved out of our previous home in LA in February of 2019 and started renovating our new home. As we were told, renovation takes way longer than expected + adding fire remediation and doing all with a nontoxic approach devised an entirely new level of time, research, and logistics. I think my half glass full mentality from my excitement to start this project didn't want to believe that, but man was it true. It actually took four times longer than we were told. Because of this, we doubled our stay at a hotel, then moved into an apartment with one of our best couple friends – we both needed a 6-month place to stay, so it was a perfect way to save some money in the process. We moved into our home in October 2019 with a lot of moving parts still + we didn't know if any of our previous furniture would work, and it turned out most sizing was not suitable (insert tear emoji here). We began the furnishing process about a month later in December with COVID-related delays on shipping, and I can now say we are almost complete (mid-November is the last delivery-hooray)! What a process, but truly we feel so grateful we had this opportunity, learned so much, and are extra appreciative to be settled.I am extreme homebody, so this year I really had to develop a new sense of home – and while my circumstances were different, I realized that so many are also experiencing this at the current time. I learned that any place can be a cozy home. This past year, we lived in a hotel room, an apartment, a room above a garage, and our home (which was quite an organization nightmare and an endless list of to-dos), and every place felt just as doable and cozy and perfect for the time. I was forced to go against my comfort, and I am so thankful because it always transforms my perspective and increases my appreciation.In my opinion, one of the most amazing parts about the pandemic restrictions has been the time at home. What a learning journey for traveling, working men/women to be at home with the fam more, for marriages to exist side by side 24/7, for kids to be out of school and sports, for jobs to be lost or relocated to the house. Not to mention, it left space to think and process and reflect on what is important, which can be super uncomfortable but ultra-redeeming.It has been so interesting to watch how everyone copes so differently. Jase was FaceTiming his buddies non-stop, using the stay-at-home orders to develop funny social media content while grieving the loss of not getting to use his gift and passion of hosting. I, on the other hand, am an innate introvert, so with the tragedy set aside, being homebound was my version of heaven. I was trying new healthy recipes, discovered a biodynamic organic farm that is 15 minutes from our house, saved emotional energy from having to decide on a social plan, and had more quality time to connect with my family and friends virtually. Oh! And puzzles! And my work has always been at home, so my adjustment was a little less severe.Also, I was grateful for the unifying feeling that every single person was in this together. We were both more alert to reach out to others, to take flowers to the neighbors, to thank the mailman. This whole journey has taught me two things that no other circumstance could have taught me: be grateful for ALL services, provisions, people, and love – and, ANY place can be home. Perspective is everything.To see more of our home renovation follow along with our Making A Home series, right here on the blog.

Fixing a Routine that Demands our Rest

In our day in age, there seems to be not nearly enough hours in a day. Between working our way up the corporate ladder, caring for our families, spending time with friends, seeing to our extra responsibilities, running errands, maintaining a social life, and attempting to revive any creative outlets, our days are quite literally spent. It would come as no surprise, then, that any period of rest is overshadowed by our determination to juggle all our responsibilities and interests. But, as we step into everything that this new year has in store for us, finding this period of rest is absolutely essential in order to maintain the drive to achieve every goal and aspiration we have set before us.The Oxford English Dictionary defines rest as an action in which you “cease work or movement in order to relax or recover strength; allow [yourself] to be inactive in order to regain strength or health.” Finding a time of physical rest, then, is essential for our lives. If we do not find time to rest our bodies and to allow our minds to unwind, we will not be able to offer all of our energy to our efforts that demand our best performance. We all may be able to recall a time in our lives when found that in our pursuits, our energy had been spent and when our efforts had grown weary. These are the times when we have pushed our bodies and our minds to perform beyond what they were capable of. Despite the warning signs, the signals of exhaustion, weariness, and depletion that grew a certain inaptitude in our performance, we pushed our bodies and our minds to achieve more, to go further, and to surpass any limitation we saw set before us. There came a point in these instances, however, when our efforts could not measure up to the standards of our desires. There came a time when our bodies and our minds had had enough. So, we accepted defeat, we succumbed to disappointment, and, ultimately, we were left wondering why we could not measure up. Though there is raw beauty and true meaning that is revealed in the midst of defeat, and in carrying on in spite of defeat, there are prevention measures we can take to assure that we give of our best selves in order to pursue the most beautifully genuine and unique dreams that we have set before us. One of the most important ways that we can set prevention measures for ourselves is by first acknowledging when we need rest and by then assuring that we get that rest. According to a study by the University of Washington, rest “is an important part of a healthy lifestyle for all ages. It rejuvenates your body and mind, regulates your mood, and is linked to learning and memory function. On the other hand, not getting enough rest can negatively affect your mood, immune system, memory, and stress level.” In order to chase after our dreams, to pursue our ambitions to their fullest potential, we need to give our bodies and minds the opportunity to rest and prepare for all that we are asking of them. In order to continually set ambitious goals for this year ahead, we need to allow ourselves time to rest in order that we may be in the best posture of creating dreams for ourselves and of setting intentions of pursuing those dreams. After realizing the importance of allowing ourselves daily physical and mental rest, we must, then, create the space in which we find rest and solace. A couple months ago, in the weariness of the unpredictable time of emerging adulthood, I was advised to go to the beach every day. Here, I was told, I would find a time of clarity, simplicity, wonder, peace, and inspiration. Now, the beach is not a magical place that would captivate my thoughts and spirit into this sense of peace and tranquility, but it is the place where I, personally, would go to devote time to my own thoughts. It is the place where I would go to pause the business of life’s demands and, moreover, it is the place where I would free myself of every intention, pressure, and aspiration I was placing on my life. Immediately upon hearing this, my mind started to conjure the many reasons why I should not go to the beach every day-- the beach is too far to go just to sit and think for half an hour, people will think I am just wasting my time, I should be spending that time on countless other things. But, why not go somewhere out of my way, even just to think? What was holding me back from allowing myself to have this time of rest? Is it fear of changing my habit? Is it fear of what people would think of me? Is it fear of what that time of rest would bring, what change would come out of it, or what inspiration would be prompted from it? Why do we fear rest? Why do we think ourselves unworthy of rest? What is holding us back from going to the beach every day, taking a walk in the park, or driving somewhere, despite the inconvenience, so as to set intentional time that we would use just for ourselves?Creating the spaces and times of rest for ourselves may seem impossible amid the demand of our own thoughts and the intimidation of society’s standards, pressures, and constructs. However, assuring the existence of these spaces and periods of rest in our lives is absolutely essential for the growth of our dreams and the fruition of our ambitions. Knowing the importance of this rest and what it can do for our dreams, intentions, and aspirations, we must prepare these spaces, we must go out of our way to assure these times of rest, and we must shake up our habits in order to allow the freedom of our thoughts. So, go to the beach, take a walk through the park, go out for a jog, wake up ten, thirty, forty-five minutes earlier. Create and continually assure this time of rest for yourself, not only because your dreams and aspirations deserve the fullness of your intention, but because you deserve the fullness of your intention. Allow yourself to rest in the uncomfortable yet wholly beautiful silence and stillness of your thoughts, for in that time of rest, you may discover uncovered truth and revealed treasure for your spirit in the pursuit of every one of your dreams.

New Year’s Reflection: Learning from our own Histories

Maya Angelou said, “History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” Studying the events of history, then, have become important in shaping the course of our futures. We learn about history in order to better understand its events and to work against repeating them in the future. From grade-school to university, we have devoted years of studies to learning about our state’s history, US history, US government, ancient and modern civilizations, and world history. We have spanned topics of geographic history, history of ancient cultures, history of world religions, history of race and ethnicity, history of major world events and movements, and history of mass atrocities and world tragedies. Throughout the study of history, our aim is to better understand our collective actions in order to continue progressing where our actions have contributed to improving the world and to prevent similar mistakes where our actions have caused harm to the world.In reflecting on our own pasts, then, it is important for us to examine our own histories- to acknowledge the ways in which we can improve, to realize the ways in which we have progressed, and to attempt to learn from our experiences and actions in order to live our lives to their fullest potential and to offer our best contributions to the world. The way in which we examine our histories, and reflect upon our pasts, supersedes the events we choose to focus on. It does not become important, then, to mull over the circumstances that have caused us pain or the mistakes that we continuously replay in our minds. Examining our histories is not useful to us if we focus on missed opportunities, regret, failures, disappointments, or sadness. The “would-haves,” “should-haves,” or “if-onlys” do not encourage us to use our histories, to reflect on our pasts, in order to make the best of our futures. Instead, reflecting on our pasts in this way only makes us more apprehensive about our futures and about experiencing everything that this next year has to offer us. Since focusing on the content of our pasts inhibits us from launching into the fullness of this next year, and the years to follow, it becomes more important to adjust the lenses we use to examine our pasts. If history books were filled only with stories of mistake, regret, or suffering, there would be no hope that our world could ever evolve from the calamity of past societies, cultures, orders, regimes, or ways of life. Instead, the orators of these events, and the teachers of the content, provide lessons and applications for which future generations can learn, grow, and transform. We learn about history in order that we may be better equipped to use our own capabilities, intellect, and strengths in order to answer to the current and future needs of our societies. The approach we take in reflecting on our own pasts, then, should be no different. We should study the events of our past, not to obsess over the mistakes we made and the pain we were caused, but to grow from these experiences and transform from prevailing circumstances. When we redefine the way in which we examine and reflect upon our pasts, we become living testaments that our pain, disappointment, failure, sadness, or wandering does not go to waste. When we realize that those moments of pain or confusion are serving a bigger purpose than the meaning we attribute to them in the moment, we are empowering ourselves to live beyond our pasts and to look forward to what lies ahead. When we look forward to what this next year has to offer us, then, we do so with a frame of mind that has been enlightened by a reflection on our past. Those mistakes, missed opportunities, failures, or moments of pain, suffering, disappointment, and sadness become opportunities for which we can strengthen our character. In reflecting upon our past, we use those personal and individual history lessons in order to build our futures so that these lessons enable us to envision dreams that trespass territories that may have been once restricted to our use. We also use these lessons in order that boldness and courage may become the baseline from which our actions spring forth. We use these lessons, even still, to empower us to pursue aspirations that reach beyond the confines of our own limitations. But, more than just advancing our own lives and encouraging the best in our own future endeavors, we use these lessons as inspiration to advocate for those around us, that they may be empowered to live their lives to their utmost potential and to their fullest worth. Reflecting on our pasts, then, does not just become a tool for us to use in the process of our own self-betterment, but it becomes an invaluable asset for us to speak to the worth of all those around us. When we each reflect upon the lessons of our past, we do so in order to bring out the best in each other, so that the collective reflection on our pasts becomes an undeniable force in the promise of our future. As we begin to look forward and as we prepare to launch into this next year, let us study our own histories and reflect upon our pasts in such a way that allows everything in our futures to flourish. 

An Unconventional Warm Up: Reflecting on the Years Past

We all have a jam that gets us going- our favorite song to set the tone for the day, a warm up song before a long work-out, an upbeat song to put us in a good mood, a dance song for those moments when we want to celebrate how good life is. For me, that song is Kids by MGMT; it is the song that puts everything else I am doing on hold, it is the song that I can belt from the top of my lungs and shamelessly dance to alone in my car, or with a group of my closest friends. Simply, it is the song that always puts me in a good mood. Today is the first Tuesday of 2016. Usually, this is about the time when the “New Year’s Blues” kick in for me. The Christmas decorations come down, the lights get put away, the tree gets put out on the curb. Twelve months until the next holiday season seems like an eternity. We go back to work, some of our family leaves to go back home, and the mundane duties of life pick back up, almost without skipping a beat. This year, though, I was unusually looking forward to a new year, a fresh start, and the beginning of all I have to look forward to. My eagerness in awaiting the arrival of a new year could be attributed to a period of uncertainty, discontentment, confusion, and a sense of endless wandering that I found myself in post-graduation. In the last few weeks of December, I found myself eagerly awaiting a fresh new start, the relief of a new beginning, and the sense of promise that unfolding a new year’s surprises and treasures would bring. I was ready for 2016.Before jumping ahead to unpacking the adventures, treasured moments, surprises, and celebrations of this new year, though, I find it important to reflect on the years past, on the joyful moments and the uncomfortable moments, alike, on the happiness and on the disappointment, on the accomplishments and on the failures. In order to extend our arms to receive all that this year has to offer us, in order to make the most of the adventure, the hardship, the celebrations, and the surprises that this year will bring us, we must take time to reflect on how these past years have shaped us, steered us, and guided us to be the people that we are today. Those situations that made us discontent are a significant part of the course of our lives; likewise, are those moments in which we found ourselves lost, wandering, or not belonging, those times that tested us to our core, those hardships during which we almost gave up, those accomplishments we failed in achieving, or those expectations we have not yet met. Those moments and situations, those which we try to avoid or which we do not wish to remember, have significance in not only contributing to the people we are today, but they add meaning to everything we are awaiting this next year to unfold for us. It is important to reflect upon the situations that make us feel uncomfortable, lonely, and unaccomplished because those moments have given us the stamina to reach, even wearily, into the promise of a new year. Those moments and situations have given us the strength and determination to pursue our dreams, despite a time of wandering in which we may not see an end in sight. Those moments have a place in our lives, in the people we have become, and in the process of attaining what we want for this year ahead. This time of reflection is our warm up song. It is what will get us excited for what is to come. It is what will prepare our hearts and our minds to achieve goals, dreams, and aspirations that we did not think were possible to achieve. It is what we will draw upon to believe that we can soar beyond the limitations we have set for ourselves. It is our reminder that although similar times of discontentment, confusion, sadness, and loneliness may root themselves in the midst of this new year ahead, the strength that we have found in those past times will carry us through the uncertainties that the future may bring.Over the course of this month, I want to establish a space where we can prepare our hearts and minds for the year ahead. Through reflection, rest, rediscovery, and revival, let us set intentions for this year to come. Reflecting on the years past, then, is the first phase in preparing for the year to come. Establishing a time of reflection is necessary in order to begin living with boldness and tenacity, setting goals and dreams that resist fear, doubt, and all other limitations. Reflecting on how we have grown and changed during years past allows us to persistently work to achieve those goals. Reflecting on the love we have been shown allows us to shower those around us with unconditional love, abounding grace, unhibited kindness. Reflecting on the hard moments and the incandescently joyous moments, alike, reminds us to celebrate each moment with an authenticity and honesty that casts light to the lives of all those around us. Reflecting on the strength we have built leads us to believe that the hard and sad moments we may face will equip us and strengthen us beyond what we could ever imagine. Reflecting on the celebrations during even this past holiday season, with loved ones close and treasured moments held dear, invites an inspiration into our lives that reminds us to be present for the people in our lives, to, be aware of what is going on in the world, and to offer what we have to work to bridge gaps, distances, and differences.Through this time of reflection, let us make this next year more joyous, more progressive, and filled with more courage, depth, and love than all the years past. Let us welcome this year with openness and readiness. Let us plant our feet firm upon the ground that has been paved with the power, resilience, understanding, and all the desires of the years past. Let us use this foundation under our feet to launch into all the wonders of this next year ahead, a year that has incomparably more to offer us and exultantly more to reveal to us.