thoughts// birth plans
these last several years, whenever I thought about GIVING BIRTH, i had one vision in mind: initial labor at home, a trip to the hospital, and an epidural. oh! and the doctor receiving the baby and then handing him over to jase and i.
my friends around me have only had c-sections or medically-enhanced births, so that was the only tangible image I had in my mind. side note: any type of birth is SO beautiful, but i wanted to share my recent educational and almost accidental journey towards our birthing plans. after a series of events in this pregnancy, starting with not feeling totally comfy with my OB, I was directed to research midwifery, and after a recommendation from a friend, we were led to the most incredible doula.
WHAT I CAME TO REALIZE after our initial meeting with her: i basically knew nothing about birth! and i honestly didn't realize there were so many amazing and beautiful things to learn.
first of all, midwives are just incredible. they take the place of an OB in the pregnancy and our two midwives will replace the nurses and doctors at birth. they make the process feel so personal and relaxed, and we have absolutely loved our experience so far!
our doula is an angel on earth, and she teaches us about birth for about two hours a week – she covers everything from the physical happenings to the mind/body connection, and everything in between. i have learned how the baby initiates birth, how my body is perfect for this baby and the baby is perfect for my body, what the uterus and our amazing hormones do when we step out of the way to let our bodies do their thing, how to open the body and control my breath through the contraction cycles, AND my favorite part: jase has a major role the entire time instead of feeling slightly helpless on the sidelines cheering me on! our doula has mentioned that birth is an other-worldly experience for the couple, and that is one thing i most look forward to.
ANOTHER KEY REALIZATION for a smooth birth is to create a place of complete safety. another doula who has been delivering babies for over 20 years shared with me that she would be with a mama in the hospital room during labor and the cervix would be completely open and be ready to push. they would call in the doctor and SO often when the doctor entered the room, the cervix would close significantly because of a change of dynamics with the body responding to the subconscious need to protect itself or the feeling of not being secure and comfortable. this hit me in such a major way!
one aspect of the meetings with our doula is really RELEASING FEAR that corresponds with the idea of birth. for me, when i think about a contraction, i think of pain, tightening up to help stop the pain, and then negatively anticipating the next round of it – a vicious cycle. i then think of birth as the unknown which ultimately would make me feel anxious too. our doula has helped me replace fear with the beauty of birth, letting go of control, accepting support, and sinking and opening into the pain because the joy is ahead. she has painted such a beautiful picture of bringing this baby boy into the world and has empowered me to fully look forward to what is ahead (with the appropriate amount of nervousness of course because we are human!).
i didn't realize how much our minds can impact the anticipation of birth. i am so grateful for this learning journey.
OUR ULTIMATE BIRTH PLAN is a natural birth (location still up in the air). so stay tuned! xo