Thinking Bigger: How Simplicity Changes Everything

I have been reflecting on this time a lot, and as I am sure most of us are, thinking about new routines and positive habits that we have developed during this stay at home order that we want to bring with us as we enter back into "normalcy," which I assume will never be the same. Although this time has so much heaviness and devastation that surrounds it, I continually think about how wonderful it has been to be forced to stop, to pause, and to be where we are.These reflections have led me to start a collection on the blog focusing on Thinking Bigger – Over the next few weeks, my hope is to cover topics that have been developed in this time like the power of simplicity, serving others, new rhythms and routines, and digging into new passions.Before this pandemic, the general answer from the majority of us when asked how we were doing would be, "we are so busy."Even though our days still remain full since Jase and I's work has shifted and continued, our days look so incredibly different. We are able to start our day in a more restful way, we have been spending hours in the fresh air and sunshine every day, we have been extra present and available for little Bennett doodle (our 5-month-old puppy), and we are more intentional with who we connect with virtually + having time and space to think about others more, to help small businesses, and the list goes on. Not to mention, shows such as The Today Show (the majority being filmed from their homes) and even my husband's show (currently transitioned to interviews on IG Live) have all felt so personal and so genuine, which I think we have all craved without even knowing it.I didn't realize how much mental space was taken from coordinating and deciding on social plans, organizing travel schedules, unpacking just to repack, going to appointment after appointment, and driving to and from everything. This realization has given me a little hint as to why I feel like we are doing things so differently during this time. I really had to sit and think about why we didn't spend our evenings outside before this since the time in the evenings have stayed quite similar from then to now, why cooking felt more like a chore then and is a joy now, why FaceTiming with family and friends felt distracted then and is longer and so focused now. As I have realized in the past through my own experience is that traumatic times seem to show us immediately what is important. It filters out the fluff and hones in on necessities to live – the simplicities that keep our joy kindled.The things that this time has brought that I feel so grateful for: hearing the birds outside, noticing things in nature that I have never had the time to enjoy before, listening to music all day, buying our groceries from a local farm, starting a masterclass that has taught me so much about cooking, planting a garden, going for long neighborhood walks while getting to know the neighbors from a distance, and reaching out more to friends and family to check-in.One last thought: isn't it so interesting to think that this is so similar to how our parents and grandparents grew up? Neighbors knew each other, people borrowed an egg from the person next door, so many gardened and enjoyed the simple things, cooking and dishes were day to day tasks...Questions to leave with:What has changed in your routine that you feel thankful for? What is one thing you want to continue when the world starts opening up again?Shop the tank here.[show_shopthepost_widget id="4023495"]

Redefining a Millennial “Merci”

Say please and thank you. We have all been taught the importance of having good manners. “Be polite,” “Get your elbows off the table,” “Look someone in the eye when they are talking to you,” “Say please and thank you,” are all phrases that our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and teachers have instructed us to abide by. My mom still adamantly reminds me of the importance of writing thank you notes. “It’s just courteous, and it shows good manners,” “I’ve raised you better than this,” “Your rudeness is a reflection on me,” she has gently reminded or reprimanded me from time to time. While I have every intention of making this a habit, I still have thank you cards addressed and ready to mail from when I graduated college this past May. I found out, though, that I was not alone. One of my best friends shared her mom’s insight on the matter, which went something like, “You sure don’t have a problem accepting presents, so you shouldn’t have a problem saying thank you.” After we gave it a good laugh, the truth began to sink in. While I felt better learning that I was not alone, I could not help but think that my group text between two of my best friends was not the only incident where poor manners were lightheartedly acknowledged among a Millennial crowd. Have we forgotten the importance of saying “please” or “thank you”? Have manners been lost in translation throughout the generations? Have we lost the grace of politeness?You see, the importance in saying “please and thank you” does not lie in the string of letters that make up the sentiment as much as it does in the action of respecting those around us. The Oxford English Dictionary defines the word polite as “respectful and considerate of other people.” Likely, it defines respect as “due regard for the feelings or rights of others.” Our proper manners, then, are important not for the light that it casts on our own character, but for the way that it illuminates others. We say “please and thank you,” we express our gratitude, we hold open doors, we say “excuse me” and “bless you” not so that we look like good people in return, but in order that our actions protect, advance, and strengthen the dignity, humanity, and rights of others. Our view of humanity and equality, and the way in which we love others act as the foundation for our politeness. In return, our manners, remind us of our humanity. The way that we treat others is reflective of the way that we view others. We may, then, measure the goodness of our manners in relation to how highly we esteem the goodness of others. When we respect the equality of others, despite whatever difference in race, ethnicity, religion, gender, or anything else, we will begin to elevate the respect in which we adorn all those around us.We may have lost the imminence in timely expressing our thanks and gratitude or in exuding good manners. We may have found social etiquette, morals, or ethics to be archaic. But, our respect for one another, our respect for equality, should be timeless. The way that we view and perceive of one another, on the basis of our shared humanity, should be the driving force of our manners. Once we undergo this paradigm shift, that our manners are not so much a reflection of our own goodness as they are of the goodness of others, we will revert to a mindset that seeks the best for others. Speaking for our generation, we must be the Millennials that begin to shift the focus on the era of intention: intentional kindness, intentional goodness, intentional compassion, intentional gratitude, intentional graciousness, intentional respect. We must act out of respect and love for one another in order that we begin to redefine the Millennial “merci.”As we grow from one another and continually develop our manners, may we assume, once again, the art of respect. Man or woman, young or old, may we act out of respect for others in order to illuminate and reinforce their fullest potential and the fullness of their rights, talents, and passions. With a change in perspective, with a focus on the goodness of others rather than the goodness of ourselves, may we redeem our “please and thank you’s.” May we rescue chivalry, unearth decency, preserve kindness, and don politeness. And with this redemption of politeness and respect, may we continue to redefine the relationships in our lives and spread love intentionally, wherever we may go.

[Agape] Loving Your Family

Agape, is a Greek word that literally means “love”. But, in the pure and deep sense of the word, agape means more than a love for a friend, a hobby, or a personal preference. It is a spiritual love, a charitable love. It is a love that gives continually without seeking anything in return, a love that sacrifices, and a love that seeks the good in someone else. It is a purely and deeply selfless love.Throughout this series, we will discover what it means to love those around us. We will dig deep into who we are and we will pull from all we have learned through loving our own selves in order to better love those near and far in our lives. The idea for this series is that we will start inward and work outward, that our love for ourselves will manifest and grow to pour over our loved ones, but that it would not stop there. Through this series, we should learn to possess a love for others that goes beyond our immediate loved ones, but pours over our acquaintances, our communities, our countries, our governments, and our world. This agape love, this selfless and powerful love, then, would stretch further to those who have hurt us and those who have left us. Through this love, we will learn to bind bitterness, to find healing, and to truly love those in our lives who may have been there only for a season. Even more so, this agape love will extend to the strangers in our lives. We will learn to love the poor, the hungry, the disadvantaged, and we will learn to act out of this love in such a way that these strangers become as important to us as dear friends. Through this love, we will begin to grow in becoming more human and by doing so we will spread light and hope to the world around us.So, we will begin with loving our families. In a perfect world, everyone would be born into a perfect, honest, sacrificial, and loving family. There would be no neglect, abandonment, hurt, or pain. But, the reality is that our world is broken and families are far from perfect. So, while some of us are fortunate to be surrounded with love, care, and support, others have only been able to associate families with pain and suffering. How could you possibly love your family when the pain of your family stings you right to your core? How could you love your family when the sting of their actions is just as vibrant today as it was years ago? How could you love your family when you cannot even push yourself to see past the hurt they have caused you?First, you start by seeing yourself through the circumstances. You love yourself, you remind yourself of your worth and your strength, and you push through the pain. You speak truth into your life, that the circumstances of your family are not your fault. Then, maybe as your strength guides you through your circumstances, as you come out stronger than you were before, your love will grow stronger as well. You see, this agape love, this pure, selfless, and sacrificial love sometimes requires us to act in ways that we thought were beyond our capabilities. Sometimes, we have to draw upon strength that is bigger than ourselves. This may require us to love in times of pain and suffering and to love where the response of love should not be warranted. But, this agape love is a freeing love. This agape love lifts the burden of pain, suffering, and distress. It fills that abandonment and neglect with promise and freedom. It restores a longing heart with a heart full of contentment so that you find yourself moving forward. Maybe you start by accepting that your family did the best they could, given their own personal decisions and their own circumstances. With that small but monumental acceptance, you take a leap into this agape love where you eventually find yourself loving your family not in proportion to what they have done, but out of response to how this love has filled your heart and transformed your life.For the ones who are fortunate enough to have felt the love and support of your families, your response should flow out of your gratitude. When you realize the treasure in the honesty, love, and support of your family, you should not be able to help but to love them with all that you have in return. Agape love, then, means that you love your families from the model love that they have shown you. Your love for them, in return, should reflect the selflessness, truth, honesty, and authenticity in their love for you so that you begin to edify one another. Once you realize this treasure, this gift, in the family you have been given, your responses will begin to shift. So, start by reminding yourself not to take moments, words, or actions for granted. Listen to their ideas, opinions, and advice. Tell them you love them. Show them you care about them. Do things for them, not with the expectation of getting things from them in return, but out of pure, honest, and deep love for them. When your heart realizes the depth of your gratitude for them, your actions will follow. Things that would once irritate or upset you will grow to be few, moments and actions that you would take for granted will dwindle in number, and the love you have in your heart will manifest in your actions.Through the power and grace in loving our families, we will grow more in this agape love. We will act out of selflessness, strength, and authenticity and in doing so, we will all this love to begin to transform our lives. So, over the next couple of weeks, let us allow this love to work through our hearts and to pour out over those around us. Let us be transformed from within our hearts and throughout our actions. Let us start loving more and loving deeply.