[Agape] Loving Your Family

Agape, is a Greek word that literally means “love”. But, in the pure and deep sense of the word, agape means more than a love for a friend, a hobby, or a personal preference. It is a spiritual love, a charitable love. It is a love that gives continually without seeking anything in return, a love that sacrifices, and a love that seeks the good in someone else. It is a purely and deeply selfless love.Throughout this series, we will discover what it means to love those around us. We will dig deep into who we are and we will pull from all we have learned through loving our own selves in order to better love those near and far in our lives. The idea for this series is that we will start inward and work outward, that our love for ourselves will manifest and grow to pour over our loved ones, but that it would not stop there. Through this series, we should learn to possess a love for others that goes beyond our immediate loved ones, but pours over our acquaintances, our communities, our countries, our governments, and our world. This agape love, this selfless and powerful love, then, would stretch further to those who have hurt us and those who have left us. Through this love, we will learn to bind bitterness, to find healing, and to truly love those in our lives who may have been there only for a season. Even more so, this agape love will extend to the strangers in our lives. We will learn to love the poor, the hungry, the disadvantaged, and we will learn to act out of this love in such a way that these strangers become as important to us as dear friends. Through this love, we will begin to grow in becoming more human and by doing so we will spread light and hope to the world around us.So, we will begin with loving our families. In a perfect world, everyone would be born into a perfect, honest, sacrificial, and loving family. There would be no neglect, abandonment, hurt, or pain. But, the reality is that our world is broken and families are far from perfect. So, while some of us are fortunate to be surrounded with love, care, and support, others have only been able to associate families with pain and suffering. How could you possibly love your family when the pain of your family stings you right to your core? How could you love your family when the sting of their actions is just as vibrant today as it was years ago? How could you love your family when you cannot even push yourself to see past the hurt they have caused you?First, you start by seeing yourself through the circumstances. You love yourself, you remind yourself of your worth and your strength, and you push through the pain. You speak truth into your life, that the circumstances of your family are not your fault. Then, maybe as your strength guides you through your circumstances, as you come out stronger than you were before, your love will grow stronger as well. You see, this agape love, this pure, selfless, and sacrificial love sometimes requires us to act in ways that we thought were beyond our capabilities. Sometimes, we have to draw upon strength that is bigger than ourselves. This may require us to love in times of pain and suffering and to love where the response of love should not be warranted. But, this agape love is a freeing love. This agape love lifts the burden of pain, suffering, and distress. It fills that abandonment and neglect with promise and freedom. It restores a longing heart with a heart full of contentment so that you find yourself moving forward. Maybe you start by accepting that your family did the best they could, given their own personal decisions and their own circumstances. With that small but monumental acceptance, you take a leap into this agape love where you eventually find yourself loving your family not in proportion to what they have done, but out of response to how this love has filled your heart and transformed your life.For the ones who are fortunate enough to have felt the love and support of your families, your response should flow out of your gratitude. When you realize the treasure in the honesty, love, and support of your family, you should not be able to help but to love them with all that you have in return. Agape love, then, means that you love your families from the model love that they have shown you. Your love for them, in return, should reflect the selflessness, truth, honesty, and authenticity in their love for you so that you begin to edify one another. Once you realize this treasure, this gift, in the family you have been given, your responses will begin to shift. So, start by reminding yourself not to take moments, words, or actions for granted. Listen to their ideas, opinions, and advice. Tell them you love them. Show them you care about them. Do things for them, not with the expectation of getting things from them in return, but out of pure, honest, and deep love for them. When your heart realizes the depth of your gratitude for them, your actions will follow. Things that would once irritate or upset you will grow to be few, moments and actions that you would take for granted will dwindle in number, and the love you have in your heart will manifest in your actions.Through the power and grace in loving our families, we will grow more in this agape love. We will act out of selflessness, strength, and authenticity and in doing so, we will all this love to begin to transform our lives. So, over the next couple of weeks, let us allow this love to work through our hearts and to pour out over those around us. Let us be transformed from within our hearts and throughout our actions. Let us start loving more and loving deeply.