Thinking Bigger: Serving Others and Supporting Small Businesses

Although this time is full of struggle, re-adjusting, loss, learning to homeschool, and bits of frustration or maybe even fear, there are positive ways we can support each other! This time has reinstalled a sense of camaraderie and community. Do y'all agree? Many are serving more than they ever have. It’s a beautiful silver lining to this pandemic. When loneliness sets in, I encourage you to check in on someone else or send a thoughtful note or gift to a loved one; I guarantee it will bring you joy and will only bring comfort to others!

Here on the blog, we've implemented a new series of talks on Thinking Bigger. Last week we touched on How Simplicity Changes Everything, and this week I wanted to talk about serving others and supporting small businesses – A topic that has really been on my heart and surprisingly, has also helped me process during this time.

My family lives in Dallas; we are so close, and it was really tough to cancel the trips we had planned to see each other, not knowing when the safe next time will be. One way that has helped me feel so connected is by sending them presents that remind me of them or fun little things for my sweet nieces! And all the while, I order the items from small businesses. You bring a company joy while sending joy to someone you love, and it doesn’t have to be big!Another long-winded, yet rewarding project we have been diving into is all things home and finishing the furnishing process! With the intension of supporting small businesses, I feel like I have entered an entirely new world of discovering some incredible companies! It makes the purchase that was on the to-do feel much more purposeful.

Fun Ideas

• Create your neighbor a bouquet of flowers from the backyard.
• Write a note to someone you are grateful for.
• Call your grandma.
• Give to a charity that provides meals to others during this time.
• Cook a meal or cookies and deliver it to someone it would help.

Gift Ideas

• Send a bottle of wine from here (it's organic and biodynamic and delicious!)
• A toy for your friend's puppy from here, here, or here.
• Send something cute from here.
• This Box of Sunshine that gives 100% of proceeds to Baby2Baby.
• The cutest organic clothes for kids.
• For new mamas.
• Healthy products from here.

For the Home

• I just got this little vase, mini lamp, and marble counter pedestal (inspo from Ashley Kane).
• These pretty water glasses.
• European linen pool towels for such an affordable price!
• A healthy way to keep the bugs away outside!
• Rugs from here or here!
• Something pretty from here.

To follow along with items I'm getting my hands on, or to see how I'm constantly learning and processing throughout this time, stay up to date on my Instagram. x

How can you serve and support others during this time? Jot down a few ideas and try to implement one this week!

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Thinking Bigger: How Simplicity Changes Everything

I have been reflecting on this time a lot, and as I am sure most of us are, thinking about new routines and positive habits that we have developed during this stay at home order that we want to bring with us as we enter back into "normalcy," which I assume will never be the same. Although this time has so much heaviness and devastation that surrounds it, I continually think about how wonderful it has been to be forced to stop, to pause, and to be where we are.These reflections have led me to start a collection on the blog focusing on Thinking Bigger – Over the next few weeks, my hope is to cover topics that have been developed in this time like the power of simplicity, serving others, new rhythms and routines, and digging into new passions.Before this pandemic, the general answer from the majority of us when asked how we were doing would be, "we are so busy."Even though our days still remain full since Jase and I's work has shifted and continued, our days look so incredibly different. We are able to start our day in a more restful way, we have been spending hours in the fresh air and sunshine every day, we have been extra present and available for little Bennett doodle (our 5-month-old puppy), and we are more intentional with who we connect with virtually + having time and space to think about others more, to help small businesses, and the list goes on. Not to mention, shows such as The Today Show (the majority being filmed from their homes) and even my husband's show (currently transitioned to interviews on IG Live) have all felt so personal and so genuine, which I think we have all craved without even knowing it.I didn't realize how much mental space was taken from coordinating and deciding on social plans, organizing travel schedules, unpacking just to repack, going to appointment after appointment, and driving to and from everything. This realization has given me a little hint as to why I feel like we are doing things so differently during this time. I really had to sit and think about why we didn't spend our evenings outside before this since the time in the evenings have stayed quite similar from then to now, why cooking felt more like a chore then and is a joy now, why FaceTiming with family and friends felt distracted then and is longer and so focused now. As I have realized in the past through my own experience is that traumatic times seem to show us immediately what is important. It filters out the fluff and hones in on necessities to live – the simplicities that keep our joy kindled.The things that this time has brought that I feel so grateful for: hearing the birds outside, noticing things in nature that I have never had the time to enjoy before, listening to music all day, buying our groceries from a local farm, starting a masterclass that has taught me so much about cooking, planting a garden, going for long neighborhood walks while getting to know the neighbors from a distance, and reaching out more to friends and family to check-in.One last thought: isn't it so interesting to think that this is so similar to how our parents and grandparents grew up? Neighbors knew each other, people borrowed an egg from the person next door, so many gardened and enjoyed the simple things, cooking and dishes were day to day tasks...Questions to leave with:What has changed in your routine that you feel thankful for? What is one thing you want to continue when the world starts opening up again?Shop the tank here.[show_shopthepost_widget id="4023495"]

Long Distance Love

I have come to notice that I am often caught up in the excitement of the reason for a life change and forget to stop and ponder the adjustment that lies ahead. To explain: almost three years ago, I packed up a u-haul and moved permanently to the beautiful and bustling city of Los Angeles. After a year and a half of long distance dating, I was over-the-moon about being in the same city as my fiance, and I could not wait to marry my best friend. The wedding planning was in full force, we were looking for a house, I was trying to make my short-term apartment cozy, and the city was so new - where do I get my favorite almond milk latte? Pilates? Yoga? Friends? So much adrenaline and anticipation filled my body, that the thought of leaving the comfort of home did not fully enter my brain. Reality started kicking in slowly but surely, and Jason was the sweetest comfort and helper in making this adjustment do-able!It is so interesting how adjustment truly takes time. After three years, I feel like my family and I are all finally getting into such a good and manageable routine of visiting each other and intentionally carving out quality time together. There is always the effort of keeping life at a healthy balance - we all have jobs and husbands and travel and friends and on and on the list goes. It has taken a lot of learning and missing (aka homesickness), and trial and error to get this rhythm in tact.What has helped the most in this long distance scenario is being aware of what truly fills up my soul: long walks with my mom, bike rides with my dad, long conversations around the kitchen table, my parent's health-filled home cooked meals, sweet time with my twin, holding precious baby Kate, Pilates with my bestie, coffee with my friends. I have to create trips that are not filled with appointments and work events. I have to plan trips where my time is open and my family is first priority. I now leave feeling so renewed and full of life, filled with fresh ambition to return home and continue adjusting to a new state.Another key that has brought so much freedom: accepting life as it is and walking confidentially in the path the Lord has put in front of me (thank you to my dad for this nugget of wisdom and truth!). For so long, I was daydreaming about moving back to Dallas with Jason, and it limited me from flourishing in this new city. Live in freedom. Be grateful. Accept new shifts and seasons, and live fruitfully in the change.Are you going through any big life changes? How are you learning to adjust? We would love to hear from you in the comment sections! xo 

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We are Family

Look after one another. Marvin J. Ashton said, “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.”Cape Town is a very adventurous and outdoor-oriented city, so my housemates and I would often go on hikes, exploring the endless, breathtaking beauty surrounding us. On our hikes and adventures we would quite literally and physically have to look out for one another. This was made easier and came more naturally as we grew to know each other better. We knew which of us were afraid of heights, which of us got cranky the earliest, which of us were more prone to wandering, which of us were athletic, which of us were determined, which of us were opinionated, which of us were stubborn. We knew each other, so we were able to comprehensively look after one another.When I first moved to Cape Town to study abroad, I was placed in a house full of people who were complete strangers to me; strangers with profoundly different experiences, wholly different upbringings, ways of life, ideas, opinions, passions, and dreams. I had not known them. I was unaware of what shaped them to be the people they are, the people that would be living with me, sharing a small space with me, for the next five months of my life. However, it did not take long before these people became my family, people I would deeply care for, people I would look out for. Soon enough, these were the people that I stood on the curb outside our house and cried with as we said, not our “goodbyes”, but our “see you laters”. We were the closest thing to a family that each of us had while being thousands of miles away from our actual families. We fought, we made up, we laughed, and cried together. We threatened to beat up anyone that hurt someone in our little family. We explored together. We experienced homesickness together and we helped each other adapt to an entirely different culture and an altogether different way of life. We helped each other process our emotions and experiences, and we leaned on one another for support. We opened up to one another, vulnerably exposed our hearts and souls to one another, and we trusted one another. As we continued to learn more about one another, we grew to selflessly and completely love one another. Throughout those five months, a group of complete strangers became a family.I still would do anything for any one of these people. But, I know that my family continues to expand. You see, in every season of our lives, we open ourselves to receiving more family. The people placed in our lives throughout the various bends, curves, ebbs, and flows are intentional. We are surrounded with distinct people for a reason, and if we allow ourselves to be open to these people, we continue to build our families. As we continue to receive new family members, new friends, new loved ones, our hearts grow more protective, more compassionate. We learn, then, that only when we truly open ourselves to knowing the people in our lives better, to learning their stories, inquiring of their pasts, listening to their desires and dreams, we equip ourselves to love them better. We see that the more we understand one another, the more territory we are able to explore of each other’s pasts, passions, desires, hopes and dreams, the more deeply and profoundly we are able to care for one another.As the end of my study abroad experience loomed nearer, I began to associate with the phrase, “Home is where the heart is.” More than a mere typography scribbled on a greeting card or a sentiment exposed through a nostalgic social media post, this phrase embodied everything I was feeling up to my departure. As I tried to make sense of my emotions, of leaving a place I had grown to love and had learned to call home, I came to realize that I was beginning to have many different homes. In all these homes, I had experiences that had shaped my life, I had grown in ways that I never expected, and I had learned to form families with the people around me. I began to realize that I might have different places that I would call home. I accepted the fact that my heart may forever be pulled in different directions. And, in all these different places that my heart would be drawn to, I would have families, people that I grew to trust and learned to adore. So, my home would not just be found in the places that my heart grew to love, but with the people that my heart related to; with various people that made up many different families I grew to adore.We have the endless opportunity to continue to grow our families, as long as we regularly open our hearts to one another and intentionally invest in learning one another’s stories. Our hearts can grow to love and adorn many different homes that house many different families in every season of life. As we come and go, wander and explore, may we continue to open our hearts to those around us. May we open our eyes to the beauty we see in one another. May we bravely, unapologetically, and vulnerably form many different families in many different places that we call home. And may we continue to learn from our families, grow with our families, and better protect, advocate for, sacrifice for, and selflessly love each family that we form.

Household Rules to Change the World

Almost every family has household rules. Even amid the variances of culture and nationality, families around the world learn to establish a set of rules and guidelines by which each member will follow for the betterment and flourishment of their families. Regarding the establishment of healthy and thriving family relationships, there are many psychological and sociological studies which evaluate not only the significance of setting household rules, but the significance of which rules to set. Despite the ideal these rules promote, the reality of our world permits imperfect relationships and, as a result, many of us have been harmed by broken family relationships. However, it is my hope to discover the unbelievable inherent power within us that shines through whatever backgrounds we may have come from, whatever family circumstances that have shaped our view of the world, and whatever family-related tragedies that have caused us pain. We find this transformational power when we discover the truth that lies within these habits and when we use that truth to influence not only the way we raise our future families, but the way we create a family out of the various people inhabiting the world around us. Throughout this next series, as we discover the importance of each of these “household rules”, I hope that we will begin to reflect upon how these habits not only enrich our relationships with our closest circle of family and friends, but lead us to cultivate deeper relationships with those throughout the world beyond us. We may seen, then, that the habits we imbed in the way we teach and lead our families have a greater significance in the way that we carry out our lives. With each of these rules, we may be enlightened to the way that they fortify and adorn our perception of the vast world beyond us. I have chosen each of these rules to embody not only the relationships we hope to have with our own families and close friends, but also the relationships that will bridge national, ethnic, racial, socioeconomic, or gender differences, and that will humbly combat and wholly eradicate the deepest of embedded oppressions.I have focused on eleven “household rules”:

1. Always tell the truth.
2. Keep your promises.
3. Use kind words.
4. Do your best.
5. Say “please” and “thank you”.
6. Laugh often.
7. Try new things.
8. Look after one another.
9. Forgive and forget-- or, let go.
10. Act out of love.
11. Never give up-- or, dream big.

For each of these rules or habits, we will explore a core truth that establishes an ideal for the way we should treat both our closest circle of family and friends and also those we may never come to meet. These truths embedded in each of these household rules will do more than expose our habits in the relationships with those we know, but they will illuminate the hope we carry to make the world a better place. By becoming familiar with the truths in the these household rules of ours, we may see the love we share encompassing our closest friends and family expand to include those we have not yet met nor may ever come to meet. But, understanding the truth within the habits we create for ourselves will dissolve the line that separates our family from complete strangers, allowing our love, empathy, kindness, and compassion to reach the depths of the world. Then, the more we see our actions concerning the betterment of our own family and friends become synonymous with those concerning the betterment of people we have never met before, the more we will see the world change and grow. And, once we start to connect the truth of our habits with its influence on the world around us, the more these rules become not just habits that we teach our own children, but habits that we pass on to children of future generations.

[Agape] Loving Your Family

Agape, is a Greek word that literally means “love”. But, in the pure and deep sense of the word, agape means more than a love for a friend, a hobby, or a personal preference. It is a spiritual love, a charitable love. It is a love that gives continually without seeking anything in return, a love that sacrifices, and a love that seeks the good in someone else. It is a purely and deeply selfless love.Throughout this series, we will discover what it means to love those around us. We will dig deep into who we are and we will pull from all we have learned through loving our own selves in order to better love those near and far in our lives. The idea for this series is that we will start inward and work outward, that our love for ourselves will manifest and grow to pour over our loved ones, but that it would not stop there. Through this series, we should learn to possess a love for others that goes beyond our immediate loved ones, but pours over our acquaintances, our communities, our countries, our governments, and our world. This agape love, this selfless and powerful love, then, would stretch further to those who have hurt us and those who have left us. Through this love, we will learn to bind bitterness, to find healing, and to truly love those in our lives who may have been there only for a season. Even more so, this agape love will extend to the strangers in our lives. We will learn to love the poor, the hungry, the disadvantaged, and we will learn to act out of this love in such a way that these strangers become as important to us as dear friends. Through this love, we will begin to grow in becoming more human and by doing so we will spread light and hope to the world around us.So, we will begin with loving our families. In a perfect world, everyone would be born into a perfect, honest, sacrificial, and loving family. There would be no neglect, abandonment, hurt, or pain. But, the reality is that our world is broken and families are far from perfect. So, while some of us are fortunate to be surrounded with love, care, and support, others have only been able to associate families with pain and suffering. How could you possibly love your family when the pain of your family stings you right to your core? How could you love your family when the sting of their actions is just as vibrant today as it was years ago? How could you love your family when you cannot even push yourself to see past the hurt they have caused you?First, you start by seeing yourself through the circumstances. You love yourself, you remind yourself of your worth and your strength, and you push through the pain. You speak truth into your life, that the circumstances of your family are not your fault. Then, maybe as your strength guides you through your circumstances, as you come out stronger than you were before, your love will grow stronger as well. You see, this agape love, this pure, selfless, and sacrificial love sometimes requires us to act in ways that we thought were beyond our capabilities. Sometimes, we have to draw upon strength that is bigger than ourselves. This may require us to love in times of pain and suffering and to love where the response of love should not be warranted. But, this agape love is a freeing love. This agape love lifts the burden of pain, suffering, and distress. It fills that abandonment and neglect with promise and freedom. It restores a longing heart with a heart full of contentment so that you find yourself moving forward. Maybe you start by accepting that your family did the best they could, given their own personal decisions and their own circumstances. With that small but monumental acceptance, you take a leap into this agape love where you eventually find yourself loving your family not in proportion to what they have done, but out of response to how this love has filled your heart and transformed your life.For the ones who are fortunate enough to have felt the love and support of your families, your response should flow out of your gratitude. When you realize the treasure in the honesty, love, and support of your family, you should not be able to help but to love them with all that you have in return. Agape love, then, means that you love your families from the model love that they have shown you. Your love for them, in return, should reflect the selflessness, truth, honesty, and authenticity in their love for you so that you begin to edify one another. Once you realize this treasure, this gift, in the family you have been given, your responses will begin to shift. So, start by reminding yourself not to take moments, words, or actions for granted. Listen to their ideas, opinions, and advice. Tell them you love them. Show them you care about them. Do things for them, not with the expectation of getting things from them in return, but out of pure, honest, and deep love for them. When your heart realizes the depth of your gratitude for them, your actions will follow. Things that would once irritate or upset you will grow to be few, moments and actions that you would take for granted will dwindle in number, and the love you have in your heart will manifest in your actions.Through the power and grace in loving our families, we will grow more in this agape love. We will act out of selflessness, strength, and authenticity and in doing so, we will all this love to begin to transform our lives. So, over the next couple of weeks, let us allow this love to work through our hearts and to pour out over those around us. Let us be transformed from within our hearts and throughout our actions. Let us start loving more and loving deeply.