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The Sense of Home
I think we can all agree that 2020 has been quite the year. Alongside the craziness, there have been so many important silver linings. I look back to the beginning of quarantine, and I remember thinking over and over again how I didn't want to miss the positive parts and what we were supposed to learn, shift, and observe. I wanted to keep my eyes and heart wide open.As y'all might know after following along with us here on the blog, we purchased our new home in November of 2018. We closed three days after the Woolsey fire, which caused significant smoke damage to our home, burned down the home next door along with two other houses on our street. It was a wild undertaking. We moved out of our previous home in LA in February of 2019 and started renovating our new home. As we were told, renovation takes way longer than expected + adding fire remediation and doing all with a nontoxic approach devised an entirely new level of time, research, and logistics. I think my half glass full mentality from my excitement to start this project didn't want to believe that, but man was it true. It actually took four times longer than we were told. Because of this, we doubled our stay at a hotel, then moved into an apartment with one of our best couple friends – we both needed a 6-month place to stay, so it was a perfect way to save some money in the process. We moved into our home in October 2019 with a lot of moving parts still + we didn't know if any of our previous furniture would work, and it turned out most sizing was not suitable (insert tear emoji here). We began the furnishing process about a month later in December with COVID-related delays on shipping, and I can now say we are almost complete (mid-November is the last delivery-hooray)! What a process, but truly we feel so grateful we had this opportunity, learned so much, and are extra appreciative to be settled.
I am extreme homebody, so this year I really had to develop a new sense of home – and while my circumstances were different, I realized that so many are also experiencing this at the current time. I learned that any place can be a cozy home. This past year, we lived in a hotel room, an apartment, a room above a garage, and our home (which was quite an organization nightmare and an endless list of to-dos), and every place felt just as doable and cozy and perfect for the time. I was forced to go against my comfort, and I am so thankful because it always transforms my perspective and increases my appreciation.In my opinion, one of the most amazing parts about the pandemic restrictions has been the time at home. What a learning journey for traveling, working men/women to be at home with the fam more, for marriages to exist side by side 24/7, for kids to be out of school and sports, for jobs to be lost or relocated to the house. Not to mention, it left space to think and process and reflect on what is important, which can be super uncomfortable but ultra-redeeming.
It has been so interesting to watch how everyone copes so differently. Jase was FaceTiming his buddies non-stop, using the stay-at-home orders to develop funny social media content while grieving the loss of not getting to use his gift and passion of hosting. I, on the other hand, am an innate introvert, so with the tragedy set aside, being homebound was my version of heaven. I was trying new healthy recipes, discovered a biodynamic organic farm that is 15 minutes from our house, saved emotional energy from having to decide on a social plan, and had more quality time to connect with my family and friends virtually. Oh! And puzzles! And my work has always been at home, so my adjustment was a little less severe.Also, I was grateful for the unifying feeling that every single person was in this together. We were both more alert to reach out to others, to take flowers to the neighbors, to thank the mailman. This whole journey has taught me two things that no other circumstance could have taught me: be grateful for ALL services, provisions, people, and love – and, ANY place can be home. Perspective is everything.To see more of our home renovation follow along with our Making A Home series, right here on the blog.
married life: beauty in the transition
I can't believe Jason and I are about to celebrate our one year anniversary! Isn't it almost scary how fast time flies? Because of the occasion on the horizon, I thought it was fitting to re-post this article from the lovely blog, The Refined Woman, started by my dear friend Kat Harris. Their blog has such beautiful influence.
Even if there is a longing to get married or date or have a family, can we all admit that single hood is truly one of the best stages in life? Yes, the contentment in that time can be a struggle because an internal longing for the future may allow the disintegration of the joyful present. But this time of beautiful aloneness ignites a sweet desire to discover who you are as a woman, and it offers the time to identify your identity: the quirks, the love languages, the passions. Think about it…it is the only season of complete freedom. you can take a Pilates class at 8am. you can loudly unload the dishwasher at midnight. you can take a nap at 5pm without a care. your girlfriends can sleepover whenever you please. you can blast Britney Spears when you are getting ready. It is such a time to cherish and use to better yourself through laughter, reading, and the allowance of any stretch of adventure.Obviously, I am a major fan of singleness, and it seems that the majority who have entered the beauty of married-life look back on that time with more recognized gratitude. It prepares you. It stretches you in solitude. It seasons you with some of the sweetest, craziest, and most unforgettable memories and challenges. To digress, I must say first that being a wife is the best gift I have ever received. My abs have improved due to my consistent belly laughs, my character has strengthened from being lovingly challenged, my walls have slowly been knocked down due to feeling safe to communicate the good, the embarrassing, and the hard. In a brief conclusion: marriage makes everything better.
Yes, that’s a pretty extreme statement, but I stand behind it with full confidence, and I don’t believe I am speaking out of a “newlywed” mouth. The depth of our relationship cannot be shifted by circumstance; the foundation of our love is built on something so solid and unchanging; the grace we have learned to give comes from something greater.So, now I live with a boy (yikes!). I kid. Honestly, the biggest transition has come in the form of being purposefully bothered by someone special, being tackled over and over on the bed as if I were his sibling (his excuse: he never had brothers!), and being surrounded by loud melodies and random acting scenes. I must admit that I love all of the above.A little tidbit into the life of Jase and Lo: we have identical OCD. True stories: we have collided while picking up the same crumb off the floor; a dirty shirt on the dresser is utterly offensive; water drops or fingerprints on the counter are distracting. Oh, and when we arrive home at midnight from a vacation, we open all the mail, unpack, and make sure everything is in its place. We. Have. Problems. + what are we going to do when we have kids? Pray for us.The point of sharing these silly quirks is to fully exclaim how easy it has been transitioning to living with a guy! I must brag on my husband for a second: he is the most helpful person I know, he is so aware of me emotionally even without me speaking, and he takes care of all of the man-jobs such as replacing light bulbs, cleaning the gutters, etc, etc. My eyes don’t even see those things. Sadly I know the stereotype of marriage is often distasteful, but it doesn’t have to be. I have realized that marriage is truly shaped around who you are as individuals and most importantly the foundation in which your marriage stands on. Do. Not. Settle. Open communication is key. Fair expectations are a game changer. Owning your faults is the path to healthiness.
I must admit, marriage is such a learning process. We have been married for about a year, and it has taken about that long to truly get each other on the most internal level and get on a rhythm as a couple. It took fights and misunderstandings and vulnerability to get there, but man is it worth it. I know we still have so much learning ahead of us, but it has been the most enriching journey to experience thus far. Yes, we are both who we are individually, pursuing our own passions with freedom and support, but we will never allow too much distance. Our priority is creating intentional time together to talk deeply, to not talk deeply, to crush, to flirt, to be adventurous and random, to lay in bed all day. We were both saying last night that we have never enjoyed spending time together as much as we do now!A lot of what has brought us where we are is from not pushing conflict under the rug, fighting well (oh crap, we don’t always do that), but in the end, the struggle, the slamming of doors, and the crazy emotions all end in this appreciation for each other that could have never stemmed from a la-dee-dah day. A little tiff or frustration is always rooted in something bigger. If you get to the root, you will always find sweetness and a greater grace.To wrap it all up in one final thought: you are in this specific time and place for a brilliant purpose. Use it to prepare for what may lie ahead. A marriage is so much “easier” when you know yourself and see beauty in who God made you. When you know who you are as a woman, there is a sweet co-existence with your husband rather than a dangerous co-dependence. Yes, every story and transition is different, but marriage is so deeply satisfying when it isn’t rooted on yourselves. See the bigger picture. Be on each other’s team. Intentionally keep your relationship deep and exciting. Oh, and laugh. a lot.
Questions Asked by The Refined WomanWhen you were single, what did you think marriage would be like? I felt like I could only grasp a vision of marriage from what I saw in marriages around me. I knew it required work and intentional communication from watching my parents and from being the mediator in some of my sister and her husband's productive arguments. I knew it was such a joy to have someone to live life and create a home with. I knew it would be infused with lots of laughter and sweet memories. Even after seeing these things played out in front of me, I realized all that I had envisioned was a distance from experiencing marriage in reality. It is so much more cultivating, life-giving, and deepening than what I imagined.What has been better than you expected? Living with a boy. Traveling together is my favorite. Lazy days with him are too good. I feel more loved the more vulnerable I am (he's an angel). Creating a home together. Just being together. Going on dates. Hanging with friends. Marriage honestly makes everything so much better.What transition are you looking forward to, in your marriage? Every transition! Kids, changes in career, retirement ha!Photos by: Kat Harris, Lindsey Brittain, and Sarah Shreves
transition pieces
Printed dress {c/o Show Me Your Mumu} | Aviators | Booties | Leather clutch {c/o Hobo}
It's hard to believe that a lot of kids and students and teachers are going back to school today and the topic of "pumpkin spice lattes" has come back into our conversations! Being in Texas heat, I personally find it difficult to transition my wardrobe into fall. It might not be the smartest move to buy a brand new white dress right now, but I can't bring myself to start stocking up on faux fur vests when its still 97 degrees outside.I instantly fell in love with this printed dress when I saw it online. It's one of those "wear now, wear later" pieces, super flattering, and can easily be dressed up or down! I wore it on date night last Friday when it was still pretty hot, but I know I can still wear it as temps start to cool off as well! (Side note - for our date night we had dinner at Saint Ann in Dallas. How adorable is this courtyard and firepit area?!)I also recently bought these booties and words cannot describe how happy they make me! I love that I could wear them with boyfriend jeans for running errands during the day, or with a dress like I did last weekend for date night!
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wear now, wear later dresses
Confession: I have a really hard time starting to buy all the new cute fall clothes that are coming out when it's 100+ degrees here still in Dallas. Maybe that makes me a procrastinator or not a planner, but I'm not going to buy a faux fur vest in July when I won't be able to wear that until October.BUT at the same time...it's probably not a smart idea to be buying 100 white dresses right now when I won't be able to wear them for too much longer (this year). That's why I felt like this cold-shoulder dress from No Rest for Bridget was such a smart purchase.
Dress | Handbag | Sunnies | Necklace | Watch | Sandals
I wore this dress last weekend in the heat of July, but also can't wait to wear it once temps cool off with a suede bootie! When I know I'll get a ton of use out of it (plus it's less than $40)...hard to say no to that.
A few other cold-shoulder dresses I'm loving from NRFB:
- http://www.norestforbridget.com/collections/shop-it-first/products/shea-cold-shoulder-dress
- http://www.norestforbridget.com/collections/shop-it-first/products/phoebe-off-shoulder-dress
the in-between
Everyone loves Fall for the thick scarves and riding boots and warm flannel. I fall into that category as well, but one thing I love particularly about this time of year is the transition. We're not quite to the flannel yet so our current outfits are a beautiful mix of summer and fall wardrobes. We don't have to say goodbye to the tank tops just yet, because you can still throw a scarf over it and be ready for the day (at least in Texas!). Scarves with tank tops, sweaters with shorts, v-neck tees with fall hats...I love these combos!I had gotten a few requests from my instagram (@laurenkaysims) this weekend about a sweater I wore on a road trip to San Antonio with my hubby, and this is definitely one of the "transition" looks I'm referring to.
Sweater - Milk & Honey Boutique / One Teaspoon denim shorts / Madewell Booties / Hobo the original handbagLo and I had recently been talking about her favorite jeans (below) which complete her "transition" look so perfectly! A good pair of skinnies are essential for every Fall wardrobe.
Anthropologie tee / Nordstrom feather trim hat / J Brand Jeans / Max & Chloe Necklace / ASOS Retro sunglasses
The Transition: Lem Lem Scarves
Often times, it's hard to distinguish the right wardrobe pick-me-ups during the transition from the heat to the cool. We are all craving something new in our closets as we are gearing up for fall; there is just something about the change of the seasons! So, we have a strong suggestion for you: LemLem scarves. Their beautiful handwoven selection suits anyone from a minimalist to a classic girl, so get shopping here![galleryview id= 47]Source