You Matter

Just last week, I took a spontaneous trip to Trader Joe’s after a long day at work. I decided that some fresh blooms and a good bottle of rosé would remedy the evening. As I approached the register, the clerk looked at me smirked. “Have any hot plans tonight?” he queried. With a genuine and all-too-familiar laugh, I admitted that those goodies were all for me. “Treat yo self,” he assured me. His response was as quick and intuitive as a coach’s reassuring pep talk to one of his players- “You’ll get ‘em next time, sport.” For some context, “Treat yo self” was a catchphrase first made famous by the television show Parks and Recreation in 2011, when Tom Haverford, portrayed by Aziz Ansari, and Donna Meagle, portrayed by Retta, celebrate their annual “Treat Yo Self” Day by splurging on clothes, messages, and any other of life’s pleasures. Since then, the phrase has gone viral. But, amid the humor and the playfulness that the phrase implies, there rings a bit of sincerity to it. When do we actually treat ourselves? Do we focus on ourselves, on our own growth? Or, do we shy away from it, convincing ourselves that prioritizing our own growth is in some way selfish? Can we allow ourselves to prioritize what fills our souls and grows our character? In one of my favorite passages from the novel, Eat, Pray, Love, Liz seeks to answer this question, saying,

“I did not know yet what I deserved. I still maybe don’t fully know what I deserve. But I do know that I have collected myself of late- through the enjoyment of harmless pleasures- into somebody much more intact. The easiest, most fundamentally human way to say it is that I have put on weight. I exist more now than I did four months ago. I will leave [this place, experience, season, etc.] noticeably bigger than when I arrived here. And I will leave with the hope that the expansion of one person- the magnification of one life- is indeed an act of worth in this world. Even if that life, just this one time, happens to be nobody’s but my own.”

This month, we have explored topics of exploring our happiness, practicing devotion, and finding a necessary balance between the two. Using the novel Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, we have examined the depths of our souls, the longings of our hearts, and the directions of our dreams. We have found that we can become empowered to pursue our dreams, to secure our happiness, and to allow our faith and devotion to carve deeper crevices of meaning in our lives. But, we must always remember that the belief in our worth is the nourishment by which the roots of change and transformation can spread forth into our lives. We can chase after our dreams until our hearts grow weary, we can endlessly pursue what we believe will make us happy, and we can expend our energy to our devotion or faith. But, all these endeavors will not lead us to find the peace and joy of our hearts unless we are prompted by confidently believing in our worth.This lesson of self-discovery is paralleled even in the way that I came to read this gripping tale of another woman’s quest to find herself. I acquired my copy of Elizabeth Gilbert’s famous novel from a second-hand bookstore. I love my copy of her novel because it has been worn, torn, and loved by a complete stranger before it was even placed into my hands. With each page turned, each convicting phrase and transparent story underlined, I got a sense of the story of the book’s previous owner. Stumbling upon this unique copy also came at a crucial point in my life. I had just returned home from a study-abroad trip in Cape Town, South Africa- a beautiful place I had learned to call my home for five months. It seemed, then, that not only was a captivating and life-altering story about to unfold before me, but also the way in which this tale affected the previous book-owner. It was the collision of these multiple worlds, the experience of the author, of the previous book-owner, and of my own ventures abroad that would significantly affect the way I would perceive the world. You see, we all have a story to tell. Better yet, the worth of each of our stories is insurmountable. The wears and tears on each of our pages, the highlighted portions, the important events, the memorable quotes, the tearjerkers, the relatable characters, the cameo appearances, and the inspirational revelations are all things that make each of our stories unique. Our individual plotlines are unlike anything experienced before. Those things altogether make each of our stories invaluable. We must only, then, begin to learn how to tell them.In telling your story and driving your plotline, treat yourself to an incredible, adventurous, and incandescently beautiful life. Chase after your dreams, pursue what makes you happy, grow in your faith, find and grow secure in your contentment, and do all these things based off the belief of you worth. Live your life in such a radiant way, even if sometimes it is for no other person than yourself. Breathe life into your unique story. Believe that you matter. And, go boldly in the direction that your life is leading you. Treat yourself to the enjoyment of your unique and vibrant life.

[Agape] Loving the Silent

“When the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful”: words spoken by Malala Yousafzai in her address to Harvard University on September 27, 2013 as the Harvard Foundation presented her with the Humanitarian award. Malala is a pillar for human rights and the advancement for girl-child education around the world. With a passion to advance education in her home country, Pakistan, Malala began to write a blog for the BBC Urdu service. To protect her identity, she used a pseudonym. Her rising activism led her to be awarded Pakistan’s first National Youth Peace Prize and to be nominated by Archbishop Desmond Tutu for the International Children’s Peace Prize in 2011. But, Taliban leaders schemed to kill her in response to her rising influence. Both Malala and her father’s passion to advance education withstood death threats from the Taliban and soon enough, Malala’s identity as the author of the BBC blog was revealed in a documentary made for the New York Times. Then, on October 9, 2012, as Malala was on her bus going home from school, Malala was forced to identify herself to a masked gunman who shot her with a single bullet that went through her head, neck, and shoulder. Her survival and her resilience during a long recovery process inspired people around the world to stand up against injustice.After her attack, Malala went on to win the Nobel Peace Prize on December 10, 2014. Her influence allowed her to create the Malala Fund which raises awareness of the social and economic constraints on girl-child education and which empowers girls around the world to raise their voices, to realize their potential, and to demand change.Malala is one of many voices that are speaking up for the silent. With a story such as hers, and so many others around the world, we should ask ourselves how we can use our voices to affect change and how we can speak up for those who may find it hard to speak up for themselves. In the United States, our freedom of speech is protected by our US Constitution, except when it infringes upon the rights of others. But, all in all, whether our speech is enlightening and encouraging, or even destructive and offensive, we, as US citizens, are granted free speech, a right that is not granted to all citizens of all countries around the world. How, then, with the power of this right that is granted to us, do we advocate for, do we speak for, those who find themselves silenced by their governments, by their social institutions, or even by their own peers? How do we love the silent?Some instances may require us to defend this right subtly, mundanely, and habitually, as if it were an everyday task. Singers, whether they have just begun their careers, whether they are dedicated to advancing their careers, or whether they have been experienced in their profession for years, undergo voice exercises. They do not stop efforts to improve or sustain the strength and technicality of their voices once they have “made it”. These voice exercises are intended for singers in all stages of their careers in order to strengthen vocal cords, improve transitioning techniques, relieve tensions, maintain healthy singing practices, and prolong the impact of their voices. In the same way, then, that singers routinely check in on and improve their vocal capacity, we too should continually work to grow the strength and influence of our voices. We should be so accustomed to practicing and defending our voices, refining and affirming our voices, that it becomes second-nature to us. You see, each of us has a distinct voice and a voice that we can use to affect change throughout the world. We should locate our voices, we should strengthen our voices, and we should see where our voices carry so that those voices can have the greatest impact. When we begin to know the impact of our voices, we will be able to use our voices to help others, to speak for those who find their voices silenced, and to use the stories that our voices tell in order to empower others. You see, these daily voice lessons of ours have a far greater impact than on our own lives; our voice lessons enable our speech to be strengthened so that their fortitude can send waves of peace, assurance, and justice throughout the earth.Other instances, then, may require us to use our voices bravely and boldly. At times, we may find that we need to scream and yell; to advocate for the equity of others and to defend the human rights of others. In these circumstances, we use the privilege of living in a country that defends our right to free speech in order to extend that right to those around the world. Certain times may call us to use those techniques in which we have strengthened our own voices in order to fight for the voices of others to be heard amid oppression, intolerance, and injustice. We may be called to allow our voices to carry and to send shock waves to other parts of the world in order that the force of those waves will inspire others to find and use their own voices in times of tribulation. It is the strength of the collectivity of our voices, then, that has the capacity to sustain life, to foster hope, to affect change, to inspire courageous acts, and to defeat terror, oppression, and injustice.When we use our voices to locate and inspire the voices of others around the world, we form a chorus of voices whose influence cannot be contained. With a chorus determined to affect change and to advocate for the rights of others, the unity that sings of rightness, of justice, of equity, and of restoration is undeniable, and with such an undeniable force as that, the song of peace and of the reconciliation of hopes and dreams plays so that the whole world can hear. As we draw upon the strength inherent within us and the strength inherent within one another, let us use our voices so boldly and so loudly that we sing of this song of peace, empowerment, and justice to ends of the earth.