holiday season mindset

photos by felicia lasala

the outfit: sweater (c/o) | leggings (c/o) similar + similar

lip color | bandana (old- similar)

Now that it's November, our minds are starting to get into holiday gear. Thoughts of holiday plans, invitations, family time, meal planning, decorating, and gift giving are beginning to come to mind. We are of course very excited, as the holidays are such a special time to give thanks, count our blessings, give, love, celebrate, and enjoy. It also seems to be a time though when overspending, over-indulging, stress, super busy calendars, and tiredness are too common. That being said, we invite you to join us as we make a conscious-effort to not get swept up in the "madness" and not fall into the "more, more, more" trap that seems to go hand-in-hand with the holiday season. Instead, we want to take one day at a time, keep healthy habits going strong, spend within our means, commit to plans wisely, and take time to rest and savor the season. Doing so will free up time to do what really matters- spend precious quality time with loved ones // xo melissa

shop the look:

our bedding: serena and lily.

Our sweet friends and family in Dallas held the most special engagement party for Jase and I about three years ago, and there was one piece of advice that my best friend's mom imparted to me as a wife-to-be. I will never forget it. She said to always make your home a sanctuary and restful place for your husband; it should always be an atmosphere that brings peace and comfort after a long and possibly stressful work day.Decorating our first home together has been everything from a test of patience (it's a long process) to one of the most rewarding experiences. It was exciting yet nerve racking to create the vision for our home - it is such a big and permanent type of project that messing up or choosing the wrong piece is yikes! From trial and error, I have learned so much from what piece of furniture to start with in the design process to watching how my interior style has evolved over the last two years - it is fun to already become inspired for the interior of the next home in our future!Enter the master bedroom. This room can be a tough cookie, right? It has to be the perfect mix of masculine and feminine. I had to let go of my desire to have pretty, feminine Bella Notte pillows and a velvet throw. Exit any floral patterns. So I came to a conclusion: neutrals and white is a clean way to create comfort. It's cozy + the simple palette creates an easy foundation to add in different throw colors and patterns as the seasons change.I have my list of top favorite online interior shops, and my first stop is always Serena and Lily. It never fails to deliver and inspire. This last month, we decided to get a new set of bedding. There is truly nothing like it! Not to mention, we might have a slight obsession with this duvet cover - one is in our master; one is in the upstairs guest! We also can't live without puffy shams and pillows! Everyone wants a bed that feels like a cloud, right? See below for our entire set of bedding.

items c/o serena & lily 

thankful for the missing.

Melissa and I have the most amazing time working together every day, but one of the greater joys is the ability to talk life amidst the email grind. M's sweet boyfriend was just in France for almost two weeks this month, and every day, I couldn't help but think of that feeling of missing your other half. Life just doesn't feel the same, right? It's not as full. It just doesn't feel right. Thankfully we have each other to encourage when our men are absent. When Jase is gone, she gets the feeling, and vice versa.But then the two of us got to talking and restructuring our perspective of "missing." We realized how grateful we both are to have someone to miss that much. We realized that rather than turning that time into a pool of sadness, to rather fill it with memories we can't fully dive into when our men are home. I was laughing while simultaneously admiring how Melissa planned every moment of every day when Ham was away - sleepovers with girlfriends, family hangs, spa nights at home with quiet time alone. So good. Being thankful truly changes everything. Not to mention, the time apart really does grows the heart fonder. It seems to illuminate why you are grateful for your partner in crime. There is nothing better than the anticipation of their arrival home, and there isn't anything much sweeter than the reunion.

31 Bits: A Necklace with Purpose

I am so incredibly honored to be a part of this 31 Bits Campaign with the most lovely women who are designers and inspirers. I had the most memorable time creating this necklace with the most lovely team. Knowing that women in Uganda made this design come to fruition is the most empowering part of it all. See how your purchase has purpose, and scroll down to read more about this process!

What is the inspiration behind your piece? I am all about anything neutral and feminine, so I kept that in mind while designing this piece. Not to mention, the fact that the women who are making this necklace are rising above poverty through the art of creativity is so inspiring! That is the best part of it all!

What inspires you? Empowered women that push through fears and pursue their passions freely. Oh! And beaches and beach towns!

What is your favorite thing about 31 Bits? I love that y’all value the creator and the consumer! It is such apicture of what defines success in a business – that people are fully cared for, encouraged creatively, and are in an atmosphere that esteems community!

What does this project mean for you? This project is so special to me and I am honored and grateful to be a part. I love learning about other women that are designers with an inspiring story. It is such a beautiful thing to celebrate!

Describe your style: Laid back, neutral, and California classic (bring on the hats and oversized sweatshirts for beach nights!).

What’s next for you? I am in the process of starting a foundation to provide beautiful prostheses forwomen,expanding the vision and purpose of my blog, anticipating my twin sister having her first baby (my excitement is on another level), and preparing for the launch of our hair product, Stranded!

Where do you get your style inspiration from? Bloggers, ShopBop editorial emails, and my mom.

Fave Fall activity? Sitting by fires, cozy beach weekends, carving pumpkins, long dinners, lots of family time, and hot matcha lattes!

Tell us ALL about Stranded!! Stranded is a powdered, dry shampoo and hair perfume for saucy blondes, beautiful brunettes, and fiery redheads—all the while leaving locks freshly perfumed and viable for another day without washing. It is an all-natural product, lacking in GMO’s, gluten free, and vegan. I hope you love it as much as we do!! (Available this Fall!)

simple

Three words that I have been gravitating to lately are ease, comfort, and simplicity- in outfits, in plans, in decisions, in recipes, and so on. A lifestyle of ease is so appealing to me. Sometimes I feel that ease gets confused with lazy and they are definitely not the same. To me, ease and simplicity mean that I am resisting the urge to rush, stress, push push push, and ultimately burn out. No, thanks! I am seeking and praying for ease, comfort, and simplicity in order to be fully charged and ready to roll when life brings a moment that is hard and requires serious energy and endurance. If I rest enough and seek simple, then I will be more ready to take on challenges that will arise.

What do you guys think? Comment section is below!

P.S. As I type this, I realize that these thoughts are on the forefront of my mind thanks to Shauna Niequist's new book, Present Over Perfect. You can read our Q&A with her, here!

lo's outfit // the details: the dress (c/o) + the shoes (c/0)

Five Things About Melissa

As Lo said last week, we are so excited to become a bit more vulnerable, open, and real here are the mag and share posts that are thought-provoking, raw, and full of hope and love. Before things get really real, I wanted to share five things you probably don't know about me. Here is a link to Lo's 5 things post from last week- it's such a good read!I love to cookWhen I started dating Hamilton, I did not know how to cook. I remember the third or fourth time we hung out, I told him that I wanted to make us dinner. I don’t know what caused me to say that, because as stated before, I did not know how to cook! I knew the typical basics, but pretty close to nothing. I’ll never forget what I made (chicken + sundried tomatoes with pesto over cous cous), that experience in the kitchen (I turned on music and started to create), and how much Hamilton loved the dinner. I thankfully had him stay in the other room while I cooked, because the food was great, but the process was not the prettiest. That night was a huge turning point for me. Since then, I have refined my cooking methods, cooked for us and others countless times, tried so many new things (thank you, Pinterest) and developed a major love for creativity in the kitchen. Food is such a great way to bring people together, and I am so thankful that the Lord knew I would love cooking, and used that moment (in November of 2013) to make it happen.Writing poetry brings me joyI went to St. Mary’s College in Maryland and majored in English, with a focus on creative writing my senior year. The poetry class I took that year was hands-down my favorite, but even before then I was jotting down poems whenever a thought came to mind. For some reason it comes pretty naturally to me, and for that I am so thankful. It's one of those things that I don't talk about a lot, but I'm not really sure why. I guess I have always seen it as a personal or private hobby, but I want to share it more, whenever possible. As of lately, it's my personal goal to journal much more and this includes making free time to write some poetic lines. I have recently started a toxic-free lifestyleI am way late to this game and know that this is not new news, but for about the past five months I have been getting rid of toxic beauty and home products. Besides my Bobbi Brown bronzer, all of the products that I use now are “safe” and don’t contain the most dangerous toxins that are unfortunately common in come beauty and home-care products. Hamilton and I completely purged my apartment and his house, and replaced the items with brands like seventh generation, dr. bronner's, mrs. myers, and I replaced makeup items with brands like w3ll people and beautycounter. I recently had an “aha” moment thanks to Hamilton (he has been living this way for a while now) and a holistic health coach from Annapolis, Maria, who spoke at our yoga studio during a special detox class. I will go into all of the details in a separate post, but basically I realized that I was causing my body so much harm by exposing it to chemicals that are in conventional products that we use everyday. My mom and I are super close I am so thankful to have such a close relationship with mom! She is definitely my best friend and we talk a lot (like a lot) and live 20 minutes apart, so I see her (and my dad!) pretty regularly. My mom has such a kind, loving, and warm spirit and it is something that I always try to have and share with others. I also pray that I will be like her when I am hopefully a mom myself. I always look forward to seeing her and I can always count on her to answer my calls and texts, which is something that I definitely do not take for granted.Yoga is one of my favorite thingsHamilton and I started to do yoga back in January and it has been the best nine months of my life. I can’t even think about what life was like before yoga! A big part of that is the studio we go to- Annapolis Power Yoga- and the amazing instructors there. The owner, Emily, is so great and I give her a lot of credit for my passion and love for yoga. What is so cool about her studio is that they offer the traditional yoga (Vinyasa), but they also offer cool versions that incorporate cardio and strength building, like buti yoga and XY sculpt. I think about this often when I talk to people about yoga- the three best things about it (and why I am totally hooked) is that one-yoga brings me so much joy and peace, two-it’s an amazing workout, and three- it’s a great way to get rid of toxins.

It May be Best Unwritten

More often than not, I find myself reluctantly proclaiming my Millennial identity because, more often than not, I find there to be more criticism than praise regarding Millennial tendencies. But, as with any generation, while we fall behind in some areas, we gain speed in others. One of the benefits that I have seen develop in the midst of our generational timeline is the opportunistic world of technology. It seems now, more than ever before, technology has opened up a vastly more comprehensive arena for communication. Almost right before our eyes, we have seen how technology has harbored relationships that are distanced worlds apart or how it has allowed information about a remote people group, a distant political crisis, or a removed cultural tragedy to transcend national, cultural, and political boundaries. But, while we have seen so many positive consequences stem from technological efforts, we may also begin to realize how we have conformed to the patterns of technology. Throughout the development of our generation, technology has created an instant form of communication. With a simple push of button, we are able to trade our words, expressions, and thoughts with complete strangers. With the push of a button, we have the power to uplift one another, encourage one another, share in grief, sorrow, pain, joy, love, and celebration with one another. But, with the push of a button, we have the power to completely devastate the spirit of another person. With the push of a button, we can experience the immediate guilt of not being able to retract our words. With the single push of a button, we can paramountly affect someone else’s life.And while I have perused the Internet's various different layers, something has struck me: the way we are able to communicate with each other, with people we do not even know nor may ever meet, is a powerful indicator of the way that we treat one another. I often observe the comments section of articles, social media posts, and videos and have been shocked to see the way that people speak to one another. I find hatred in judgement, negativity in a better-than-thou repertoire, and unkindness in misunderstanding. I am not one to say that I have never harbored unkind, judgmental, or negative thoughts for someone else, but I have grown concerned about our nonchalant ability to use that negativity in the way that we speak to people over the Internet. While searching for a different way to use this communication, I have found that in order to begin to change the attitude of our opinions, we must be able to allow a flexibility in our perceptions of others through their social media outlets. Through social media, we are able to look into the lives of people we have never met before. We are also able to portray a story of ourselves that we wish people to see. But, we should realize that things are not always what they seem to be. We must believe that a mere creative outlet does not indicate or illustrate someone’s entire life. So, we should not allow our compassion and empathy for other people to remain hindered by the limitations of a simple Instagram filter, a 140-character count, or a mere status update. Instead of settling to accept the what appears to be on the surface, we must learn to dig deeper, to go beyond our conceptions of what others’ social media may lead us to believe. Another way we can learn to challenge our communication patterns through the Internet is to allow our grace to transcend technological boundaries. In order to examine our speech in this context, we may need to delve deeper into how our patterns of communication initially form. We learn the art of communication best in the context of those relationships that are closest to us. With our best friends, we learn the time and effort that it takes to get to know them, to foster deep relationships with them, and to sustain those relationships. We learn to ask the questions that will pierce through the layers of a person’s self-defenses. We learn to be there for them, to foster a sense of loyalty and trust. We learn to love them, to encourage all that they are, to empower and uplift them in all they wish to achieve, to love them through every mistake they have made and will continue to make, and to challenge them to see the things they may miss otherwise. We learn to understand every part of them. And as we continue to walk through life with them, we find ourselves loving them compassionately, unconditionally, and freely without even realizing it. In experiencing these true relationships, we do not have to convince ourselves to love our friends, rather, we instinctively love them. We love them selflessly without expecting anything in return. We love them fiercely, defending their integrity, their personhood, and their spirits. We love them compassionately, understanding all the experiences, events, tragedies, and triumphs that have shaped the person they have become. We love them empathetically, knowing the depths of their hearts, remembering their deepest secrets, and understanding their unspoken vulnerabilities. But, what if we started to extended this same compassion that we harbor for our closest friends to even strangers in our lives? What if we thought of that person that lies on the other end of the keyboard as someone’s best friend- a friend someone would defend till the end of time, a friend someone loves with all their heart, a friend someone compassionately and empathetically understands? What if our unbiased, color-blind, and compassionate love transcended the keyboard? How would that affect the way that we view one another on a human level? I believe that it starts when we begin to see that the compassion that we freely give to those we know best is the same compassion we should extend even to those we do not know, simply because their humanity deserves it. It continues when we use discernment in the power of our words, compassion in the tone of our voices, and empathy in the perception of those we may never know through the medium of the Internet. It grows when we see grace and compassion become our immediate responses. It expands further the more appalled we become by our own selfish, judgmental, unkind, and unforgiving thoughts and responses towards other people. You see, as we begin to change the way we communicate with one another through the Internet, we are ushering in a new wave of communication in which we account for the feelings of another person, a person we have never met nor may ever meet, above our own. So, let us bring forth this new wave of communication. Let our compassion be greater, let our empathy reach further, and let our kindness ring truer throughout the course of our comments and our messages towards one another. Let us become known as a generation that uses the vastly extensive Internet to bring messages of truth, hope, and courage to each other from all around the world.

10 Questions With Shauna Niequist

Lo and I both fell in love with Shauna Niequest's writing style and her down-to-earth, authentic, faith-filled self when reading her book bread & wine. She has a way of writing that is relatable, refreshing, and full of honesty and hope. We were so excited when we heard that she was coming out with a new book, Present Over Perfect, and even more excited when we had the opportunity to do a 10 question interview with her. When Lo and I put together these questions for Shauna, we hadn't read the book yet, but now I am more than halfway through and cannot say enough good things about it. It's one of those books that makes you look forward to bedtime, just so you can get under the covers extra early for some reading time. The description on the front cover could not be more on-point when it comes to a hint of what you will find inside- "leaving behind frantic for a simpler, more soulful way of living". There are so many sentences underlined, starred, and hearted on the pages that I have read so far, that it is slightly crazy-looking if you were to flip through. It's that good. If I had to pick one favorite quote (so far) it would definitely be this- "It's [being present over perfect] about rejecting the myth that every day is a new opportunity to prove our worth, and about the truth that our worth is inherent, given by God, not earned by our hustling." I don't know about you, but I am with Shauna- hustling for perfection is exhausting and not worth the struggle. Being present, real, and full of love during all of life's moments (the good, the bad, the messy, and the not-messy) is much, much more appealing. Scroll down to read our 10 question q&a and thank you, Shauna, for being you!

1. Congrats on the release of Present Over Perfect! How exciting was release day? Dish on all of the fun details.

The funny thing about release days is that really, nothing happens--you have that date on the calendar for so long, and then it comes, and you just spend the day in your pajamas, replying to people on social media. But all day long, people I love stopped over, bringing flowers and my favorite lavender honey, and fish tacos from my favorite Mexican spot. One of the guys that worked on the release with us—our good friend Tim—stopped over early in the morning with a box of Stan’s donuts and some Blue Bottle coffee…Tim knows what we love, and it was fun to start off the day sitting in the kitchen with him. And then at the end of the day, when we had received good news about how the release was going, my parents and my brother came over for a champagne toast on the front porch—with plastic cups, kids riding their bikes in circles around us, and frozen pizza.

2. We are so excited to dive into your newest book. If you could pick out one thing that you pray people take away from it, what would it be?

My prayer is that this book is essentially a permission slip for people to leave behind the pressures and expectations and roles that they’ve always played, and live freely out of their essential selves, with all the strengths and flaws and dreams and limitations that each of us have.

3. The writing process really fascinates us. Can you shed some light on how you begin to write a book? I remember reading somewhere that sitting down to write was sometimes the hardest part of the process for you- is that still true and if so, how do you overcome that challenge?

Yes, certainly, sitting down is the hardest part—it’s so easy to think of a million other things you should be doing. What helps me toward that end is structure: I write like I’m going to work—good work, work that I love, but work nonetheless. The discipline helps me—there’s so much freedom within the parameters of discipline.

4. We fell in love with you and your writing style when reading Bread & Wine. The concept of inviting people in your home and gathering around the table has really influenced us when entertaining. In that book, you talk a lot about imperfection over perfection. What are your tips for people who might be refraining from inviting people over because their home is not up to the unrealistic idea of "perfection"?

I very firmly believe that people would much rather be fed in a slightly messy, sort of normal home instead of a rigid, perfect, super-buttoned-up space. If people want a super-refined, exactly perfect experience, that’s what restaurants are for. But home cooking should always make you feel at home, wherever you are.

5. The cover for Present Over Perfect is so great- is there a story behind the converse shoes? Lauren and I are big fans of chucks, so we are dying to know!

At one very important point on my own present-over-perfect journey, I snapped a photo of my chucks while I was sitting on the dock in Northern Wisconsin. That phone photo captured so much, but it wasn’t high-res enough for the cover. So honestly, we tried to recreate it a million different ways, and the one that finally worked was taken by my husband over Thanksgiving weekend on a freezing cold day—we put a movie on for the boys in the car, and ran out to the end of the dock. I’m sure my publisher was horrified when I insisted my husband (not a photographer) could get the shot, but he absolutely did!

6. Your Facebook page is such a fun one to follow. I love the way you are honest about the real, REAL parts of life. Like the raccoons. :) What is your approach when using the Facebook platform to connect with your fans?

To be honest, I don’t think much about social media—very intentionally. It’s a fun way to connect, and there are people that I enjoy following and learning from, but it’s such a small slice of our lives, and I think we get into trouble when we make it bigger than it should be. Real life is so much sweeter than internet life.

7. When looking back at all of your books, and reminiscing about the writing journey for each, do you have a favorite? I know picking favorites is so hard, but if you do have a #1, we would love to know which one and why.

Really, Present Over Perfect represents the greatest life change for me, so it means the most.

8. What is the best piece of wisdom you have ever received that has remained as a constant reminder in your life?

My friend Laura always says, “start where you are.” I love that. It’s easy to see all the reasons you think you’ll fail, or how enormous the task ahead is, or how unprepared you are. But just start where you are, wherever that is.

9. Lauren and I have been talking about the importance of rest and slowing down lately. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day rush, but it’s way too exhausting! What are your tips for slowing down despite chaotic circumstances?

I love that you’re asking these questions! For me, these are a couple things that really helped:

First, talk with the people you’re closest to about wanting to live more slowly—that way, they’re on your team, cheering you on, encouraging you, instead of wondering about what’s changed. Second, start small: you don’t have to over haul your life all at once. Begin with small, concrete steps: put a couple home nights/family dinners on the calendar a couple nights a week instead of being out every night, or make a list of things that make you feel rested and playful, and mark out time on the calendar to do those things—many of us have been ruled by our calendars for so long that it’s helpful to use the calendar to essentially plan some things that should come naturally: rest and play.

10. I love this quote that you recently posted on Facebook: "Love is never found in the hustle." Amen to that! Can you elaborate on this concept of love and hustle and why the two don’t go hand in hand?

I hate that the word hustle has become so prominent in our culture: hustle is all about pushing, earning, tricking, multi-tasking. These are not the things that bring life and love and deep connection. The best things are built slowly, with care and creativity and depth. I don’t want anything built on hustle—that feels cheap, and flimsy, and temporary. I want to practice believing that there is so much more to life than hustle.

--

authentic self

Lo's outfit : plaid bomber (also available @ anthro) | pants | shoes | sunnies 

Last week I was so inspired by an interview on the Today Show with Alicia Keys. Here is a link to one segment with Tamryn Hall, but she also had a conversation with Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie. In both conversations, Alicia Keys spoke about her love for going make-up free and embracing her true self. I was immediately captivated, as I have recently started wearing less makeup and really digging deep, turning my focus inwards and deciding to truly love and celebrate what makes me, me, instead of trying to conform to the standards that are out there. Now of course if wearing makeup brings you joy and makes you feel like the best version of yourself, then go for it, girl! As Alicia Keys mentioned, the main point is just discovering what makes you feel like your "most true, authentic self" and owning that, loving that, and conveying that through your life and to the world. Amen to that! What do you guys think? Let us know in the comments below.

xo melissa