A Vow from a Bridesmaid’s Point of View

As we begin to approach the warm months of summer, wedding season comes into full swing. Some of us may find ourselves at a certain stage of life where “wedding season” seems to be in no particular season at all; instead, we attend, or we find ourselves a part of, weddings all year round. But, this coming Sunday brings about a particularly significant wedding among all the rest: my sister’s wedding. My family and I have been eagerly awaiting this day since my sister’s fiancé asked her to marry him almost five months ago. But, the truth is, our family has been looking forward to this union of theirs for the entirety of a  near ten years of their relationship. I have found this season of their engagement to be unlike any other. It has been filled with joy, love, bliss, and excitement. Parallelling the incandescent moments of happiness, however, were certain stressful and overwhelming moments as we worked to lock in every detail of the day’s festivities. Throughout this time, I watched my sister work through details and make plans, all while learning the curves of planning a wedding in the first place. Still, I was amazed to see it all come together. I watched florists, caterers, wedding coordinators all come together, working with each other’s preferences, styles, and creative outlets for the best interest of the bride. I witnessed parents, pastors, mentors, and friends step alongside my sister and her fiancé in the planning process- offering them advice, giving them their support, and loving them by serving them in this somewhat hectic but wholly beautiful stage of life. I observed my sister and her husband-to-be grow closer together, working through differences of opinion, resolving conflict, celebrating roadmarks, reflecting on memories of their relationship, and cherishing the love they have built for themselves over the course of the past ten years. Over the past few weeks, especially, I have been able to watch them build their new home where they will begin to build the rest of their lives. As I prepare to stand alongside my sister on her special day, I cannot help but reflect on her union with her husband from my point of view, a newfound perspective that will forever shed light on my presence as a wedding guest. You see, guests, bridesmaids, groomsmen, officiators, caterers, coordinators, et cetera, are hand selected by the bride and groom to be a part of their special day. On the day of the wedding, all of the staff have to work together as a team to make sure that everything runs smoothly, that flowers, centerpieces, and place settings are displayed to honor the couple’s taste, that the music brings guests and family together to celebrate the happiness of the day, and that every detail reflects the beauty and sentiment of the celebration. But, this teamwork, this support system, exists long after the bride and groom drive away, the lights are turned off, the chairs and tables are put away, and the final candle is blown out. You see, our support for the celebrated couple existed long before any wedding event and it will be just as essential as anniversaries come five, ten, twenty-five, fiftyfold. Attending their wedding day, then, is a reflection of not only the union that we have watched them form, but of the support we will continue to adorn them for the rest of their lives. So, a wedding day not only signifies the beginning of a deeper union between the bride and groom, themselves, but a union that we as the guests form with the couple. From where we stand, we extend our hands to them, we witness the commitment they make to each other, we promise to hold them accountable to their commitment, we humbly and empathetically listen to their future struggles, we selflessly and sacrificially support them in times of need, and we wholeheartedly rejoice with them in times of celebration. From where we stand, we commit to do life with them. Amid the chaos of choosing between a thousand different swatches of linens, of finding the perfect dress, of picking the perfect cake, and of locking down details of the perfect florals, menus, aesthetics, music, and everything else, we must remind ourselves of the love that warrants the craze in planning such a celebration in the first place. As we let go of our desire for perfection or our longing to control every detail to make sure everything goes exactly as planned, we must be reminded of the love that transcends perfection and surrenders to humility. As we begin to surrender to the will of things beyond our control, we may notice that this union glorifies a deeper meaning beyond anything that could be found in the events of a single day. When we open our hearts to this couple we adore, we witness the forming of a union between two imperfect people, honoring and bringing glory to a purely perfect entity and a wholly perfect God. So, as we celebrate with the couple, as family, as a member of the wedding party, or as a guest, we commit ourselves to support and join with all the sacrifices, desires, dreams, ambitions, achievements, and opportunities that this couple will undertake. As we witness the bride and groom vow to one another, we make our own vow to them, to strengthen, empower, equip, and encourage their union all the days of their lives.