You Be You

You be you. This is so much easier said that done, isn't it? But, why? I have really been digging into this ever since I moved to Los Angeles, as I initially felt surrounded by people that just didn't "get me" - they didn't know me growing up, they didn't know my twin, they didn't know my parents, or what healing was like after the accident like my best friends did at "home," and the list continues on.This is such a real feeling but a binding excuse to keep falling back on. After countless conversations with my sweet husband, I realized I was trying to take the easy way out. I would avoid the effort rather than the pursuit; I was seeking easy comfort (AKA watching Friends cuddled on the sofa at home), which in turn, developed into loneliness. I was exhausted from the daily adjustment to a brand new city and often depleted of energy to put in the effort of being vulnerable with new friends. Not to mention, the root of the problem was fear of man coupled with the desire to be accepted as I walked into a community of Jason's friends who felt like family to him, but not to me yet. This all seemed so intimidating at the time, but Jason encouraged me to just be me. Simple clarity: that is what everyone desires. For you to be you.What I came to discern is that I was making this so complicated. It really is quite simple. How do you act around your best friend or your closest family member? You can be free and honest and thoughtless (in the beautiful sense of the word). I still have to remind myself to be this way sooner rather than later with new friends. What are your fears of being fully who you are? What holds you back?Tips to be you:

1. Keep it simple. Take it at your own pace. Have grace on yourself for not doing it perfectly. New friends are not being your harshest critic.
2. Go outside of your comfort zone. You will be so glad you did!
3. When you are overwhelmed, remind yourself of why you are grateful. This mind set has changed my life and depletes so much negativity!
4. Don't doubt yourself. It is so easy to get in your head, questioning if people like you.
5. Admit your fears and aim to conquer them.

I have to share with you this brilliant Ted Talk where Renee Brown discusses the power of vulnerability. #gamechanger

OUTFIT DETAILS

jacket (and here) | top | denim | sunnies | boots (similar)

images by felicia lasala 

Treasuring Downtime

Downtime is such an important part of healthy living and personal well-being. I can say with complete confidence that whenever I feel burnt out, too tired, and on edge, it is almost always because I am not resting enough. Finding and treasuring downtime can be hard when life gets busy, but these days I am making it a priority to not only find it, but to truly treasure it. My soul is so much happier after a good dose of rest, and because of that I am able to be my best and give my best to the people in my life. When I am well-rested, I am more gentle, kind, and loving; I don't take myself too seriously, I don't stress over the little things, and I can think more clearly. I am able to let go and let God when I come from a place of rest and relaxation, compared to a place of fatigue and worry. How do you like to enjoy and treasure downtime? For me, it is definitely a mug of herbal tea in the evening (this tea is my favorite), comfy clothes, worship music, and reading the Bible or a devotional. Doing this in the evening before bed is key for a sweet night of sleep and leads to a fresh, thankful, happy morning the next day. xx melissaclothing and images c/o ragdoll LA 

Long Distance Love

I have come to notice that I am often caught up in the excitement of the reason for a life change and forget to stop and ponder the adjustment that lies ahead. To explain: almost three years ago, I packed up a u-haul and moved permanently to the beautiful and bustling city of Los Angeles. After a year and a half of long distance dating, I was over-the-moon about being in the same city as my fiance, and I could not wait to marry my best friend. The wedding planning was in full force, we were looking for a house, I was trying to make my short-term apartment cozy, and the city was so new - where do I get my favorite almond milk latte? Pilates? Yoga? Friends? So much adrenaline and anticipation filled my body, that the thought of leaving the comfort of home did not fully enter my brain. Reality started kicking in slowly but surely, and Jason was the sweetest comfort and helper in making this adjustment do-able!It is so interesting how adjustment truly takes time. After three years, I feel like my family and I are all finally getting into such a good and manageable routine of visiting each other and intentionally carving out quality time together. There is always the effort of keeping life at a healthy balance - we all have jobs and husbands and travel and friends and on and on the list goes. It has taken a lot of learning and missing (aka homesickness), and trial and error to get this rhythm in tact.What has helped the most in this long distance scenario is being aware of what truly fills up my soul: long walks with my mom, bike rides with my dad, long conversations around the kitchen table, my parent's health-filled home cooked meals, sweet time with my twin, holding precious baby Kate, Pilates with my bestie, coffee with my friends. I have to create trips that are not filled with appointments and work events. I have to plan trips where my time is open and my family is first priority. I now leave feeling so renewed and full of life, filled with fresh ambition to return home and continue adjusting to a new state.Another key that has brought so much freedom: accepting life as it is and walking confidentially in the path the Lord has put in front of me (thank you to my dad for this nugget of wisdom and truth!). For so long, I was daydreaming about moving back to Dallas with Jason, and it limited me from flourishing in this new city. Live in freedom. Be grateful. Accept new shifts and seasons, and live fruitfully in the change.Are you going through any big life changes? How are you learning to adjust? We would love to hear from you in the comment sections! xo 

OUTFIT DETAILS

top | sunnies (c/o) | pants | shoes (c/o) | scarf (c/o) similar option

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Learning To Forgive

After many minimal circumstances on the daily and bigger life altering occurrences that I have encountered in life,  I have come to realize that forgiveness and freedom walk hand in hand. Strangely enough, the easy way out is to hold on tightly to the hurt and pain cause by someone close to us, or to focus on how that road rager on the way to work ruined our mood. It is so easy to live in a state of annoyance and play the blame game, when in reality, we can choose to forgive, rise above hostility, and live in gratefulness. Why is the positive solution the harder solution? It seems backwards that existing in negativity requires less effort than flourishing in a life of freedom. Why is this?I truly believe forgiveness derives from self-awareness. It stems from a humble spirit and a desire to step back and understand the full story. It requires the acceptance that we are all human, that we all share differing values and opinions that are neither right nor wrong, that we each have triggers from the past that ignite our present reactions. If we walk in surety of who we are, the temptation to walk in broken friendships and negativity disperses quickly. A new desire for fullness and life-giving relationships becomes the goal, and the effort to create that becomes a joyful practice. But digging into the heart of who we are is intimidating and one of the things that so many of us avoid, but if you step through the immediate discomfort, there is so much abundant life on the other side. It's ironic that forgiveness stems from us making a change, rather than someone else making a change.Are you holding a grudge against someone? What is keeping you from confronting the issue? I must mention that I want to run away from difficult conversations. I often assume the worst - that I will not communicate clearly, that I will lose a friend, that I will hurt my husband's feelings. Assumption often causes pain before it is even present. What I always come back to before I need to have a tough talk is that it is a loving gesture. If my intention is for fullness in relationships, hard honesty is key. It ultimately breaks down walls and ignites living genuine lives alongside each other. What is better than that? Vulnerable, but better. Also, remember that if you lovingly discuss a problem, and the reaction is friendship-threatening, know that their response is their own issue, and you have done all that you can. xoxo

This series is in collaboration with some stellar ladies.  Be sure and check out their posts on Self Care too: Kat Harris, Tutti del Monte, Danielle Bennett, Kate Labat, Joanne Encarnacion, Nikia Phoenix, and Chelsey Korus.

OUTFIT DETAILS

dress c/o (and here) | sunnies c/o | shoes

images by felicia lasala

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Making Time For The Girls

Making time for the girls in our life is so important, but sometimes finding the time is hard. It's a reality that most of us face due to busy schedules. Things like work, precious family time, and other obligations such as that yoga class, the errands you need to run, or the honest desire to be a homebody are all real reasons to pass on plans. However, we know that we always feel so good after an evening with our best girlfriend. There is a fine balance between making plans and passing on plans and below are some tips to navigate through the planning. Lo's outfit details are at the bottom! xo

*Listen to your body - sometimes we go through seasons that are quite exhausting. Be aware of these seasons, and don't make as many plans during this time when your body needs rest. This will allow yourself a week or two to "recharge" and be your best self when you feel up to plans.

*Choose wisely - this might sound harsh, but it's really out of love. As we mature, we realize the girlfriends that are truly meant for us. These are the ones that we connect with on a deep, personal, and authentic level. Make time for these girls and really dedicate your time to nourishing these friendships.

*Stick to it - do your best to stick to plans once you have them. Take time to think through the planning and make sure you are committing to something that works before you say yes.

*Quality time - quality time is more important than length of time. An hour coffee date with your bestie on a Saturday morning can be the sweetest, even though it's short. Don't feel pressured to carve out hours on a weekend for girlfriend time if realistically it doesn't work.

*Be honest - following up on the above point, be honest and upfront with your girlfriend before making plans. Talk it out with her so you both know how much time the two of you have to hang out.

*Show the love - one of the sweetest things you can do after spending time with a girlfriend is to follow up with her. Send a text to just say thank you and express how good that hangout time was for your soul- it will mean so much to her!

OUTFIT DETAILS 

dress | sunnies (c/o) | bag | boots (and here)

images by felicia lasala

Indego Africa: Empowering Women

I stumbled across this beautiful brand on social media recently and quickly felt inspired to do a little research about what this organization was all about. I am so moved by the mission and purpose of Indego Africa - it is such a breath of fresh air and so encouraging to see the huge change happening in families, communities, and the confidence and value of these precious women in Rwanda and Ghana. It is just beyond beautiful.  Scroll down if you are ready to be inspired to the core. P.S. Standing ovation to Anthropologie for carrying this brand, too! I love companies that desire contributing to change. How was the idea of Indego Africa born?Indego Africa was founded in 2007 with a simple idea: Empower women artisans in Africa by showcasing their beautiful craft and investing in the power of education. Since our founding, Indego's mission has always been to help artisans lift themselves and their families out of poverty and become empowered businesswomen. The artisan sector is the second largest informal employer in the developing world. Despite its potential, the industry remains untapped as a resource for income generation, job creation, and economic growth in under-resourced communities. Since 2007, Indego Africa has played a critical role in changing this by providing artisans, especially women and young people, with access to markets, vocational training, and education. We believe that women around the globe have the capacity, creativity, and determination to uplift themselves, their families, and their communities—all they need are the opportunities!What is your favorite part of working with the artisans in Rwanda and Ghana?All of it! I love how collaborative the process is. These groups of artisans look to us for market and business opportunities, and we look to them for production and a chance to show the world their exceptional artistry and craftsmanship. Seeing how much dedication to and passion for craft they have is so inspiring to me. It helps shape the vision of our brand in the best possible way. I also love how, as partners, we’ve being able to grow together. I started at Indego Africa 6 years ago, when many of our partners were also just forming their businesses, and looking back, I feel like we were all babies in this journey! We’ve worked through cultural challenges, business related bumps in the road, collaborative successes, (epic) failures and, most importantly, we’ve experienced moments of incredible joy, growth, empowerment and pride – all together as partners. I consider the commitment of these women to our shared mission to be the most essential element to the success of our company. I love, love, love building this brand together, hand in hand with them!How often does your team travel to Africa and what is that experience like?Indego Africa is a global team that truly prides itself on maintaining a collaborative culture. Our design, marketing, fundraising and operations team members are based out of New York City and our wonderful local teams in both Rwanda and Ghana oversee and implement the direct to artisan social impact programs and production logistics. We believe in having a connected and collaborative relationship with the artisans we partner with and try to visit our cooperative sites as often as we can (and have our local teams visit NYC whenever possible)!The artisans we work with share our passion for education, artistry, and the future of their country and it's a common bond that connects us as partners. Our local teams in Rwanda and Ghana are with them, day to day, sitting down with these women and discussing their lives, their goals, and their insights into our work and or partnership. So many of our programs and educational initiatives (which you can learn more about here) were started because of the direct feedback from our partners. We are invested deeply in these communities, and it is so important to us to make sure the opportunities and support we are providing is relevant and helpful in their lives and our local teams are the ones making sure this is happening on a daily basis.On a personal note, I am forever in admiration of these hardworking women and visiting our artisan partners is an inspiring, invigorating and motivating experience. I have learned so much about grace, strength and pure hard work from them, especially when I’ve had the opportunity to see in person the way they carry themselves, to sit down next to them and observe them at work and to talk to them, woman-to-woman, about all the things that make them who they are.Indego Africa items are all so lovely and unique- we would love to hear about the design process in NYC. What is that process like?Thank you! For me, the design process looks different for every product but always has the same creative spin behind it. The first thing it always starts with is the artisan element itself. What can our partners make with the skills and materials they have? What will be a good fit for our brand aesthetically and will it showcase their artistry? Whenever I’m seeking – or seeing – inspiration these are the parameters front and center in my brain. From there, I focus on using color and pattern to tell a story but also showcasing the power of texture through neutrals. I want our products to feel happy, well-made, and to evoke a sort of casual chic design element.  We sell home goods, baby and kids décor and apparel, women’s accessories, art and objects, but we always make sure our product line feels cohesive and comprehensive. What are the designs that would be able to tick all these boxes while also following trends in the markets we serve? The design process can feel sort of like a puzzle sometimes - and that’s before we even start sampling! ☺ Once we have an idea that will work, I communicate with our production teams in Rwanda and Ghana, who then sit down and work with the artisans to see if the piece can come to life the way we want through a traditional sampling process. From there, we review, redesign, and resample. Then within a few weeks, months, or seasons, we have a new product. It is my favorite part of the job to be a part of this global design process!What is the inspiration behind some of your favorite pieces in the collection?Right now I’m really loving our woven hat and bag collection. A few years ago it occurred to me that these artisans, while experts in basket-weaving, had the perfect skill set to make the ever popular “straw” summer bag and hat but just didn’t have the right vision. It took a few months – or maybe closer to a year ☺ - of sampling but when we got the shapes and look right it was easy to think of creative ways to make the traditional woven bag feel on brand and interesting to our customers. This year we added lots of textured raffia pops and fun hand-embroidered bag charms and accents. I love how these pieces at the same time feel both traditional and of the moment and add a handmade and possibly unexpected pop to any outfit (or bathing suit for the beach beauties out there!).Your mission is so beautiful from start to finish, but the part of profits earned going to education programs for the artisans is truly extraordinary. What are some of the education programs that the artisans enroll in?Indego’s education programs include foundational business education and financial management, technology training for the workplace, skills-based vocational education, and advanced leadership and entrepreneurship training. It’s through these programs that women and youth in both Rwanda & Ghana develop the skills they need to grow their own businesses, become entrepreneurs, and create economic growth in their communities. Combined with access to global markets and work opportunities, Indego’s education programs ensure that our partners are not solely dependent on us for their livelihoods, but rather, are actively building the knowledge, tools, and expertise to achieve financial independence and realize their full potential as leaders and change-makers.Recently, we’ve also partnered with UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency on a special project providing artisan vocational training to Burundian refugees in the Mahama Refugee Camp in Rwanda. The goal of this project is to help female refugees improve their livelihoods by building the skills necessary to participate in the artisan economy. We’re excited about this new program and the potential Indego Africa has to help create opportunities for a group of incredibly deserving and hardworking women!Is there anything else you would like to add?We’d love for you to bring a piece of Indego Africa to your lives! Please use code IndegoShop for 25% off your purchase from Indego Africa.Save

10 Ways to Rest the Mind, Body, and Soul

Rest and peace are such special gifts in this life, and are also so necessary to our well-being. I find it nearly impossible to live a joyful, centered life when my mind and soul are not in a peaceful place and my physical body is worn out. Below we are sharing 10 ways to rest the mind, body, and soul. These are things to keep in mind when hard times, overwhelming situations, and moments of doubt come your way- all of which are inevitable, but also so temporary. Keep the faith, friend, and keep pressing on! XO

*Trust the Lord

*Worry less, Pray more

*Take one day at a time

*Write things down- lists and journaling

*Turn off the TV

*Turn on worship music

*Talk less, listen more

*Read before bed

*Drink tea

*Be still

OUTFIT DETAILS:

SUNNIES (c/o) | JACKET (c/o) | BANDANA (similar) | DENIM (c/o) | TEE | BOOTS (c/o)

images by felicia lasala 

Loving the Skin You're In

I have always been an all-natural kind of girl, with palm trees, ocean waves, and sandy toes on my mind. I feel more myself with little to no makeup, a blow out or beach waves that look effortless, and high-waisted Levi's for that all-American, undone look. Like most girls, I cared about what I looked like growing up, but I didn't spend too much time getting ready or analyzing my appearance. I truly believe my parents' love and encouragement was a vessel in protecting me from low self value, and believing that I was a daughter of Jesus aided in focusing on developing lasting memories and friendships, rather than becoming consumed with the physical. Yet, I was very challenged on this mindset and perspective when my life took an unexpected turn. My calendar paused, my career path changed, and my platform increased after a night of injury in 2011. I was hit by a plane propeller; the blade cut into my brain and the left side of my body, resulting in the loss of my left eye, left hand, and half my head of hair post brain surgery. In retrospect, I clearly see how I easily submerged in destructive comparison after this life-altering experience. I felt depleted of beauty, but my foundation remained the same. My mom and dad's love and encouragement became stronger. My faith and trust in believing Jesus loved me grew substantially. Somehow my perspective of beauty shifted, though, and I believe one of the gifts of this tragedy was revealing to me the meaningless things that I apparently held so dear. What "bothered" me most about the outcome of this accident revealed what I held as very valuable. Did I let outward beauty define me? Yes. Did I cherish attention more than I realized? Definitely. I truly had to sit back and be still. I had to reassess my foundation. I had to refocus on what was important. I quickly came to realize that comparison is equivalent to worry; it only severely hinders and limits fruition. Plus, if we really think about it, wouldn’t life be boring if we were all the same?The Lord has brought such healing these last five years. He has restored in me a new kind of inner confidence that is rooted in where my identity truly stands, and I have realized the following to be true: physical beauty fades; attention is temporary and unfulfilling. Yes, my insecurities are a daily struggle. I often catch myself comparing not only to other people but to my "old" self. Grief is intertwined in it all as I miss my hand and my eye daily, but a lot of the hesitation in loving the skin I am in comes from wanting to hide what has changed. I have learned to be open about this struggle to my sweet husband, family, and friends, and I am slowly realizing that freedom comes from vulnerability . I am also seeing that beauty truly is in accepting the scars, in character, in the humility of freely being you, and in loving others well. I am learning to fully accept and value the path the Lord has put in front of me, and I am learning to view that path as beautiful.This series is in collaboration with some stellar ladies.  Be sure and check out their posts on Self Care too: Kat Harris, Tutti del Monte, Danielle Bennett, Kate Labat, Joanne Encarnacion, Nikia Phoenix, and Chelsey Korus.

images: felicia lasala

OUTFIT DETAILS

jacket (similar + similar) | denim | shirt | sunnies

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How We Love To Take The Time

We are so inspired lately by a campaign that Cladwell is running. For those of you that don’t know, Cladwell is a company passionate about helping people downsize their wardrobe, which in turn helps simplify one’s life, opening up time for the things that really matter like spending time with family, doing things that you love, and having time to rest. Their #TakeTheTime campaign encourages people to take time to do what we love each day. Taking the time to do these good-for-the soul things makes life so special, meaningful, and purposeful. We find that slowing down and savoring these moments make such a big difference in our mindsets and how we approach life. Read on to see how we love to take the time + get Lo's outfit details at the bottom. 

Lo's list

-Take the time to read your favorite book

-Take the time to go to yoga

-Take the time to think and pray

-Take the time to greet your husband with hugs and kisses

-Take the time to make your favorite homemade latte

Melissa's list

-Take the time to cook homecooked meals

-Take the time to read an inspirational book before bed

-Take time to read a devotional page or biblical verse before work

-Take the time to call my parents each day

-Take the time for date night once a week

images by felicia lasala

THE OUTFIT:

jeans | tee | jacket | booties | sunnies

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