[Self Series] Self-doubt

Breathe in. Breathe out.Let your chest rise with each inhale, and fall with each exhale. Let your heartbeat slow to the rhythm of your breath.Becoming aware of your breath is used to begin the practice of yoga. It is known as “Ujjayi”. Though, in yoga, it is used to set the tone for your practice, this diaphragmatic breath or “ocean breath”, as it is also referred to, is used in many different therapies and practices in order to bring awareness to your body. This breathing practice controls and paces your breath in order to clear out stagnant air and toxins in your body. It also calms and balances your breath which increases oxygen flowing throughout your body while also building internal body heat. Yoga instructors say that this breathing practice should be maintained throughout the course of your yoga practice as you are constantly bringing attention back to your breath. It is a reminder to be aware of your body. It refocuses and clears your mind, so that what started as a simple breath builds momentum that sustains you throughout your whole practice. Growing in your practice, then, is dependent on learning to breathe.In the same way, growing in ourselves is dependent on various ways in which we learn to breathe, to rest, and to find our strength. So, what prevents us from believing in our own strength? What exacerbates our steady breath? In yoga, when a pose is too difficult, when the flow is too fast-paced, when your body is not able to handle the amount of work asked of you, your breath quickens. Usually, at that time, you are encouraged to listen to your body, to bring awareness back yourself, and to deepen and steady your breath again. But, what do you do when life gets too difficult? What do you do when you are not able to handle what is being asked of you? What do you do when you begin to doubt yourself?First of all, know that you are not alone. Everyone experiences self-doubt. I experience self-doubt in the thing that I am most passionate about: writing. I love writing. I feel both exhilarated and at immense peace when I write. It may not always be easy, but more often than not, I find that my words are able to fill pages without much of a conscious effort on my part. And yet, I still experience self-doubt. I still wonder whether my writing is being received, if I could ever make a living by writing, or if my writing will ever influence people. I still doubt myself.You see, self-doubt is only given as much power as you allow it to have. It starts to lose its influence the moment you recognize its presence. When you begin to distinguish the deceitful thoughts from the truthful ones, you give self-doubt its first blow. You counter its strength. But, recognizing self-doubt requires action on your part. It requires you to know yourself: to know your strengths and weaknesses, your talents and passions, your desires and responsibilities, your values, your tastes, your attitudes, your setbacks, your fears, and your hopes. When you begin to know yourself, you will be more capable of distinguishing self-doubt from the truth that is inherent in who you are.So, if the first blow to self-doubt comes from recognizing deceitful thoughts, then the second blow comes from action on your part: the action of speaking truth into your own circumstances, into your own life. In order to combat self-doubt, you must be the loudest voice that you hear. Your truth, the truth that you know and the truth of who you are, must be louder than the lies you are being told. You must believe that your voice is powerful and versatile. It is powerful in combating and triumphing over lies. It is versatile in its nature: it is a weapon, it is a calming force, it is your assurance, it is encouragement, it is truth. When self-doubt begins to rule and reorder your thoughts, let the intimacy of your own voice reestablish its authority. When you hear, “You can’t . . .” let your voice scream louder, “Yes, you can!”The final blow to self-doubt, then, comes from surrounding yourself with people who will steady your breath and who will reinforce the truth that you are speaking into your own life. The saying, “strength comes in numbers” characterizes the power of community. It is the power within you that ignites the strength to combat self-doubt, but it is the community you surround yourself with that empowers you to defeat it. When you strengthen the bonds within your community of family, friends, mentors, loved-ones, and life partners, you create an undeniable force against which the thoughts of deceit and doubt could not possibly break through. Then, you can be a part of that community for someone else, for your triumph over self-doubt is not only a victory for yourself, but a victory for all those who will be strengthened by the truth of your voice and the power of victory.So, when doubt begins to cloud your thoughts and suppress your courage, let your own voice speak louder. Believe in the truth of who you are and the strength you have built to become the person you are. Use that strength to fuel your fight against doubt and then use the strength of others to defeat that doubt. Embrace your own strength with the strength of others so that your breaths will begin to steady and deepen. Let that strength flow through your breaths to the very core of who you are, so that your breath, your strength, your confidence can send ripples throughout your community and throughout the world.Breathe in; breathe out, and give that breath to those whose breaths are short, whose bodies are tired, whose minds are weary, and whose spirits are trembling. Breathe, refocus, and find your strength so that you can breathe your strength into the world.